We've probably all heard of girls who've grown their hair out of shyness etc., but how do you feel about other people who never look you in the eyes when they're talking to you ?

Not counting those who've deliberately got something to hide (!), I've known an otherwise quite normal woman in her fifties for some years now and yet she still keeps doing it to everyone, not just to me. I definitely thought it was something I'd done to begin with, then when I realised it wasn't I've always tried to sympathise with her as I suppose it's must be very difficult to overcome. But sometimes this apparent evasiveness gets so annoying and irritating I really want to say or do something !!

But what ? I can't tell her to grow her hair lol !  ;D

LOL!  Sorry I don't really have any suggestion other than she might not realize she's doing it.

Does she do it to women, too?  In some cultures, when a woman looks a man directly in the eye it means (to them) that she's interested and/or available.

Everyone's different.
I suggest you give her a hug  :D

I never look anyone in the eye in conversation. I mean, I glance and make eye contact for a split second, then find other things to look at in the person's general vicinity. It's not intentional or out of rudeness or anything, I just find eye contact to be terribly uncomfortable...especially if I don't know the person well. This lady that you know might feel the same way. Save both of you the embarrassment and don't mention it to her. If it bothers you, just don't look directly at her.

Sakina wrote on Sep 3^rd, 2007 at 4:45pm:

LOL!  Sorry I don't really have any suggestion other than she might not realize she's doing it. Does she do it to women, too?  In some cultures, when a woman looks a man directly in the eye it means (to them) that she's interested and/or available.

No it's not that sort of eye contact, it's just during ordinary conversation with anyone as she does it to women as well - though I've heard not to children. She's just an ordinary well off housewife with three grown sons and very nice in her own way, so all I can think of now is that perhaps it's something to do with personal space ? And whilst I certainly don't want people ever to think that I'm being rude and not listening or paying attention, obviously no-one wants to intrude on that.

Unfortunately I do find myself trying to avoid her these days though.  :-[

i used to have this problem, like a kind of social phobia i was terribly shy, i still have problems talking to strangers and looking directly into their faces and i cant understand why i am like this. I am also a nurse, so part of my job is assessing people and talking to consultants, patients, doctors etc but its like ive developed a different persona when in nurse role, I think my job though has done a lot for my socializing skills and self confidence.

Its an awful predicament to be in and it makes it very difficult to make friends, i used to think people just spoke to me out of politeness maybe this was why i found it uncomfortable to look into their eyes, its a nervous/lack of self confidence thing which i think is responsible-this lady is probably crying out for a good friend but probably feels self conscientious.

There are also forms of autism which causes this too.