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Message started by bikerbraid on May 11th, 2004 at 3:10pm

Title: My turn to ask for help!
Post by bikerbraid on May 11th, 2004 at 3:10pm
This has absolutely nothing to do with hair, but I could use some help. As some of you know, my son's wedding is 5/22 (less than 2 weeks away). It is not a big wedding. The invitations went out 6 weeks ago to family and a very limited number of friends.

Last night my friend/neighbor mentions to me that a mutual friend through church and Boy Scouts, who was not sent an invitation, is planning on coming to the wedding and reception!!!!  :o She knows where and when the wedding is (at our church), and supposedly knows where the reception is. I have not spoken to her in at least 5 months (she has not been in church since Christmas, and our sons are on 2 different continents!)

What should I do?  ??? The dinner count has already been made. Is this not a bit out-of-line for her to assume she is invited, yet has not received an invitation?  :-/ All of her information about the wedding is 2nd and 3rd hand.  We can handle her at the wedding, no problem, but what do we do about the reception (with plated dinners)?

Title: Re: My turn to ask for help!
Post by Anne-Marie on May 11th, 2004 at 4:51pm
Oh yes,that's tricky!
We had an almost similar situation at our wedding:Two *very* casual aquaintances turning up unexpectedly-and with presents.So,we sort of pretended there wasn't a problem and let them join in the reception and just squeezed them in at a table.
But still,I think that was really bad manners(on their side).
But since you know that she plans on coming,could you phone her and tell her something like only the closest family is invited? But that's easier said than done :-[
So,I'm afraid I'm not  really a big help here,I'm a rather reserved & polite person and it's quite difficult for me to tell people off,even if they are misbehaving :P

Title: Re: My turn to ask for help!
Post by Rapunzel on May 11th, 2004 at 6:49pm
How close is your friend who told you about this?  Maybe you could ask her to try to dissuade the univited guest from attending by pointing out that it would be inappropriate, and do it without involving you at all.  I would certainly be willing to do that for a friend in a similar situation... with tact, of course.

Title: Re: My turn to ask for help!
Post by flaming_bunny on May 11th, 2004 at 6:51pm
i think it would be best to talk to her and say that only family and very close friends are invited and everything is arranged so, unfortunately, she wont be able to attend.
its very rude of her (in my opinion) but she cant be mad at you because its your son's wedding and the bride and groom should get to choose who comes.
i dont like confrontation either i must say, but it could well spoil the dinner and everything should be perfect for them on their special day.

Goodluck to your son and his wife-to-be! i hope they have a wonderful life together  :)

Title: Re: My turn to ask for help!
Post by noelkara on May 11th, 2004 at 8:27pm
Why don't you call the people who want to crash and explain it to them, say you are very sorry, and then invite them to dinner sometime. Then they won't feel so bad and you don't have to worry about uninvited guests.

Title: Re: My turn to ask for help!
Post by bikerbraid on May 11th, 2004 at 9:09pm
The neighbor/friend that alerted us to the situation was so dumb-founded by the situation, she was speechless (probably for the first time in her life!).  

I will probably ask the neighbor to mention to her that the reception is by invitation, but she could come to the wedding.

I hate confrontations, and I don't like disappointing people, but this is a situation I don't have a lot of control over.  The guest list was very limited and I'm quite sure she was told that previously.  The part that really makes me mad ...... There are probably 30 other people I would invite before I would invite her.

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