I hope this isn't too silly, but the reasons I have decided to let my hair grow are kind of strange.   I have always been very uncomfortable with my appearance, especially my hair.  When I was growing up, my mother and sister were always criticizing my appearance and it has made me very self-conscious.  Not to bad mouth them, I think they meant well, but I have curly hair and they don't and I don't think they understood how hard it was to manage.  I'm rarely comfortable getting my hair done and almost never like the hair cuts I get.  

So here I am -- 55 years old with gray hair-- and I've decided to let it grow.  I pull it back with a clip and, honestly, I think it makes me look rather plain, but  that's what I look like and I'm okay with that!  :) It feels good to have it off my face, and I don't have to fool with it any more.  I am concentrating more on my makeup and earrings and just leaving my hair out of the equation for now.  I hope to have more fun with it when it gets longer.  Surprisingly, I was visiting my son last week (he's 26) and he said Mom, I like your hair, it makes you look,  I think he said, elegant -  or something like that.  And it's funny because that's how I feel with it this new way.  So I guess there's more to hair than meets the eye!  ;)

You are not silly!  Many of us decided later in life to finally do what we wanted to do.  I love the idea of long curly hair with grey in it!  Go for it!

Hi Bikerbraid.  Thanks for the encouragement.  One of the things I'm enjoying is the return of my curls.  Until about a year ago, between dying and blow drying my hair, I hadn't seen a curl in years!   I thought I had lost them.  But yesterday I washed my hair and let it air dry, and behold, there were some ringlets!  

Welcome to journaling and goodluck growing your hair. :)

wrote on Mar 13^th, 2006 at 8:51pm:

Hi Bikerbraid.  Thanks for the encouragement.  One of the things I'm enjoying is the return of my curls.  Until about a year ago, between dying and blow drying my hair, I hadn't seen a curl in years!   I thought I had lost them.  But yesterday I washed my hair and let it air dry, and behold, there were some ringlets!

Congrats on the rediscovery!

Nice to meet you silvermane! :)

I think it's fantastic that you've made a decision to grow your hair, it's empowering in a way.  I also love it because of the ideal that some people have of having to cut & keep you hair short after a certain age.  My grandmother believes firmly that after age 30 a woman should keep a short and neat haircut.  Well, I'm 29, and don't mean to disappoint you grandma, but.........to the waist it is!  No...not yet, but that's my goal, I'm currently at BSL and (hopefully) going strong.

Short hair after 30 my butt!    :P ::)

Hi silvermane!  I think long hair on an older woman is fantastic (i'm 44).  I saw a lady just the other day, with long waist length hair--it was totally grey and it was hanging loose.  I thought it was gorgeous and inspiring!  All of us have varying reasons for growing our hair long; none of them are wrong or right.  They're simply ours.   ;D

Hmmmmm,all this talk of silver.....maybe I should let my silver come through as I continue on the journey of letting my hair grow till whatever length it wants! :)

I'm totally amazed at the thoughts I have been having about all this hair growing stuff!  How taking good care of my hair seems to be so important to me now.  If I want it to be beautiful and healthy, I can't take it for granted.  It's kind of like a hobby, but it's also a lesson about caring for the rest of me.  I'm having a hard time putting into words what I mean, but I'm telling you, it's really blowing me away!

I'm so VERY grateful that this forum is here.  The kindness you all express to one another is so encouraging.  I'm so glad to be a part of it.

glad you are here :) and amen to all the stuff you said.

Many people have an "awakening" experience after discovering boards like this.  They never gave much thought to their hair before, but those who have LONG hair must think about it a lot, or the hair will never get to the extreme lengths.  As a person learns how to care for their hair, they also realize that the whole body is a part of the process and you must take care of it as well!

Welcome to this new level of enlightenment.  I hope you enjoy your journey.  :D

Thank you CurlGirl and Bikerbraid!  One step in taking good care of my hair arrived in the mail today.  I ordered some Phytargent shampoo which is especially for white and gray hair.  It's blue, of course  :D I had used it before and loved it, but had decided it was too expensive.  But I found it online for a little cheaper and ordered FIVE bottles because I could get free shipping if I spent over a certain amount AND because I'm worth it!  ::)

I also bought myself a beautiful pair of earrings today.  I felt a teeny bit guilty because of the price, but when I 'fessed up to my husband about the cost, he said "I was going to buy the very same ones for you for St. Patrick's Day!!!!   Of course he wasn't, and it was so sweet of him to relieve me of my guilt.  What a gem!

Sounds like you've got a great hubby!

really nice hubby :)  Great job at finding the shampoo at a cheaper price......love that

AAAAH! I just ordered my first pair of hair sticks!  I HAVE to grow my hair out now.  It must be because it's Spring that I'm spending so much these days.  New earrings, expensive shampoo, now hair sticks!  This isn't like me! ::)  I'm going to have to get another job to pay for all this stuff!   ;)

:) do what I do,fein insanity!!!!! lol  There were these voices in your head calling to you to see these hairsticks and viola!!  you couldn't help it they had your name written all over them!!!!!!!!!  Before you could stop anything..........you bought them!!!  See not so bad ;D

;D Thanks, CurlGirl.  You're right, they DID call to me!  

;)

This morning I debated whether or not to wash my hair.  I really enjoy washing my hair, so I did, but I wish I hadn't :(  Now it's so slippery I can't do anything with it.  Also, I'm trying to decide whether to have the ends trimmed.  I don't see any split ends, but the ends are so irregular that they just  stick out every which way when my hair is down.   But if I get it trimmed, it might not be long enough to pull back.  I'm so glad this is the biggest problem I have right now! :)  I'm trying to hold out until the end of June to get a trim.  It's my birthday month and I figure that's as good a time as any to aim for.  What will I have by then? another inch and a half or so?  So if I get an inch trimmed off, I'll still be ahead of where I am now!  Yeah, that's what I'll do! :D

I am so sorry to hear of your loss, silvermane.  :'(  I said a prayer for you and your family just a few minutes ago. May God and Nature bless and comfort you in this very difficult time.

How very kind of you, Angel, to offer me comfort in your own time of grief.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart

You're very welcome. I was merely repaying the same kindness you showed to me.  :)

I don't know what got into me yesterday, writing all that stuff about my sister.  Sometimes the grief just washes over me and I get a little frantic.  I guess with spring coming again and the anniversary of my nephew's death coming up, it has become fresh in my mind.  

On a lighter note, I bought some of those little tiny claws to keep the hair out of my face.  I dropped one and couldn't find it right away and almost stepped on it.  That would be an owie!  :o

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh  ;D

I am so sorry for you and your sister's pain.  I don't have any human children,but birds and a dog right now,but they are my "kids" and the hardes thing I think in the world is to loose a child.  The grief and emptiness is unbearable and all you do is hope for relief,comfort and peace.  I wish for you those things and just know you are not alone.  You have us,your extended hair family :)

Thank you, CurlGirl.  Your kind words mean a lot!

:) :)

One of the theraputic aspects of the internet is the anonymity of it.  You develop relationships, but there is still a "distance" that protects you.  This makes it easy to voice things that might be difficult to say in person or face to face.

Your sister has obviously had a difficult time with her loss.  No parent ever expects to bury their child - regardless of the child's age.  The family tension makes it even more difficult.  As her sister, you share her pain.  

I pray that you and your sister can find the strength and peace to resolve any inner turmoil and rejoice in the positive, happy memories of her son.

Thank you, Bikerbraid, for your kindness.  My nephew really was a wonderful little boy and he loved hats.  Looking at the pictures of him around 8 years old, in every one he was wearing a different hat.  He developed a lot of troubles in later years, but as a little boy, he was such a sweet person.   Hopefully, his troubles are over and he's at peace.  

Okay, it's starting to happen :-/  I start a new project and get into perfectionist mode and start having second thoughts as to whether or not I can do this at all.  My hair has done well with what I've been doing so far, which is wash with infusium shampoo and conditioner, or sometimes a lemon scented clarifying shampoo and conditioner that I bought at Whole Foods, don't remember the brand.  So why am I worrying?   ???
Maybe I'm not doing it right, I'm not doing anything special!!  How silly, my hair seems to be okay for the state it's in which is that it is still very choppy from growing out layers, the ends are a little wild, but I don't see any split ends (although at my age, they're tougher to spot  :D)  So I'll stick to what I'm doing, maybe try some of the recipes I've seen on this forum just for fun(I did try the honey, aloe vera and conditioner treatment) and not worry whether I'm doing it "right".   ;D  Yeah, that's what I'll do  ;D :D

That's the spirit! :)

    In order to get a beautiful long hair you don't need to do lots of special things or buy your bathroom full of special products. Simple haircare produces often great results, whereas overdoing things is a good and reliable way to damage hair. In my opinion, the care that a growing hair needs is much less than what is required to maintain a short precision cut. If you're happy with your current routine, that's wonderful! It's great to be able to try out new things out of curiosity, not out of a pressing need to find a solution to some huge problem. :) Enjoy!

What Galadriel said.

There's nothing wrong with just being happy with what you have if it's working. If it's treating your hair like the precious, wonderful gift that it is, then it looks like your hair has truly found its soulmate(s).

Consider the alternative....where you're not satisfied with anything you try, you find flaws in each and every product out there, which only makes you more skeptical and scrutinizing of anything new.  :-/  Sadly, that's the boat I'm currently in.

Just because you're not doing anything "special" doesn't mean you're not doing anything good. Just go with that until something changes.  :)

Thanks Galadriel and Angel Spun!  Your encouragement is appreciated!

No prob, silvermane. You deserve it.  ;)

One of the interesting things since I've decided to let my hair grow is that my curliness is returning - with a vengeance.  I have been researching in this forum about how to care for it.  After I washed it this morning, I made the mistake of combing it several times while it was drying, which I now read is a no no.  :o That would explain why it looks so wild.  I hate to admit it, but I think I need to get it trimmed.  One side is noticeably longer in the back.  Can I ask for some opinions on what I should be asking for in the way of a trim?  My hairdresser has longish hair herself and I think she will be willing to listen to me, if I know what to tell her. (She's not too crazy about my decision to go gray, but's that's a discussion for another time  :))  It's presently in about three layers, the longest one  in the back is about 8 inches long from the roots, the middle layer is a little below my chin, and the shortest (the bangs) fall to about my mouth.  The last few inches of each layer has been thinned, so the ends are very uneven.  Any suggestions will be gratefully received!  ;D

Hi, Silvermane.  I suggest that you get your curly hair cut by someone who also has curly hair.  It has always made a difference for me.  I have never gotten a bad hair cut or trim by someone who also has curly/wavy hair.
If you want the ends to be evened up, well you'll have to accept that length will be lost.  It will grow back,  of course.  I have been getting my ends trimmed every 10 weeks.  I think it may be more of an issue with us curly/wavy girls 'cause our hair type is naturally more dry.
I'd go for the reshape and then focus on regular deep moisturizing treatments and oiling the ends.  Then with regular trims the ends will be good and your length will come with time.
So there's my .02.  
Good Luck!!!!!

Thanks, Sakina.  That's a good idea about a hairdresser who has curly hair.  When you say to keep the ends oiled, could you be more specific as to what you mean by that?    Do you use it all the time, only at night, only after washing...?  I have some sweet almond oil which I bought recently at Whole Foods.  Would that be okay, do you think?  Thanks for any ideas! ;D

Silvermane,
I have the best results with coconut oil, but that seems to suit my hair.  Sweet Almond is great for skin, putting in the bath and as a carrier oil for EOs.  Personally I don't like it for my hair.
I say try it on your hair and see how it works for you.  :)

I oil my hair at night on the night before I wash.  I use an Ayurvedic oil that's a blend of sesame oil and brahmi herbs.  I warm it up and put the oil on my scalp.  I sleep with my hair in piggy braids (every night) and oil the ends of the braids.  Then I through a towel over my silk pillowcases and nighty night.

Every two weeks I use Ouidad's Deep Treatment now so I don't oil as often as before.  With the regular trims this seems to work for me.  I still get splits from when I used to color my hair, so I've got some damage although in general the deep moisturizing has my hair in pretty good shape.

Good Luck!!!

It's been a while since I've written anything.  I've gotten kind of sidetracked with other stuff.  My mother has been real sick and has needed a lot of care, so taking care of my hair has been low on my list of priorities.  I wash and condition it every other day, but that's about it.  It's been looking pretty bad, too.  The gray seems to be getting real drab looking.  I think I'll try my Phytargent blue shampoo and see if that brightens it up.  And I just have to make time for a trim.  The ends are looking kind of woolly.  I hate to lose the length, but I guess I'll just have to bite the bullet  :P  I've lost the excitement I initially felt when I decided to "let it grow".  Maybe it's that the weather is getting humid.  I always seem to have a "halo" of frizz around my head now.  I'm in kind of a funk these days  just generally speaking.  I'll just keep reminding myself that when one feels this way, NO hairdo would seem to look good, and that I'll  just have to wait until this blue feeling passes.  

On a happier note ;D I have continued to enjoy reading all your posts.  This board really is a great place to hang around!

Welcome back, silvermane.  :)

Sorry to hear about your mother - I hope she gets better soon.

I totally understand your feeling down and all of the hair frustrations that seem to go with it. My hair is really frizzy right now, too. Either broken hairs or new growth...or maybe both? And they all seem to want to stick out at the same time, which is, of course, the hottest hairstyle ever!  :P

If all else fails, you could try a contained style and just slicking the frizzies down with aloe vera gel.

Hopefully we'll both come out of our respective "funks" soon. Remember, without a few clouds, there could be no rainbows. Hang in there.

Thanks for your kind words, Angel.  I hope you are feeling better soon.  BTW, I smoothed some aloe vera gel on my hair after I pulled it back in a clip and it erased the "halo".  Hooray! ;D Also, the blue shampoo seemed to help a bit, too.

Glad to see you back!  Sorry life has been so tough on you.  Hang in there.  I've always said - don't do anything drastic when you are in a "funk".  

This time of year I also have a "halo" of little short hairs.  Aloe vera gel or jojoba oil work well for me.

Hi, Silvermane. I'm sorry to hear about your mom; I hope she's doing better.  (((hugs)))

Angel: are you feeling any better yourself these days?  I hope so!

BB:  Thanks for your support.  You always seem to know just what to say!

Juri:  Thanks for the hugs!

The general funk hasn't gone away, but I'm happier with my hair.  It's feeling softer and looks a little brighter.  I still need to get it trimmed, probably at least an inch or so.    My Mom is getting better a little bit at a time, but it's hard for her to be patient with herself, and I find it hard to be patient with her impatience  :-/

I think I need to start exercising.  Seriously!!!  My dear son is always gently nudging me to get on my rowing machine and get going! He tells me it will cheer me up. He is a rower and is presently training to try to get into the Olympics.  He's never come up against someone who is so full of excuses, so it's a bit frustrating for him, but he's very patient with me... and persistent!

My other son has decided to be a long-distance truck driver.  After financing five years of college, my husband and I were a little upset at his choice, but I've got to say that I've never heard him so excited and happy about what he is doing.  And he still has his degree if he ever wants to do something that needs one. I'm real proud of him and I think he'll be good at this.  He's invited me to come along on a run with him some time, and I can't wait!! ;D

Looking back over what I've written makes me realize how good I've got it.  If I could only get out from under the weight of gloom that has a hold on me, I might actually enjoy it!  

Exercise can be wonderful for clearing out the blahs.  It doesn't have to be Olympics-level training, just something to get the adrenalin running.  I've never tried rowing (I used to love to canoe!) and my back would not tolerate it today, but it looks so graceful and a full body workout!  Try to jump on the machine for just a few minutes and see how you feel.  Things will look up!

Quote:

Angel: are you feeling any better yourself these days?  I hope so!

A little bit, thanx. Given my current phase in life, the blues will always be present to some degree. That's just how it has to be for right now. But darker emotions have always fueled my art, so I'm actually kind of grateful for it. Gives me something to write on.  ;)

Glad to hear that at least your hair is doing better. Hope the "gloom" lifts quickly for you. Exercising releases endorphins (the "happy chemicals") so that might indeed help.
   I've been exercising twice a day every day for about 2 ½ months now, and my reformed muscle mass (lost years ago to some awful meds) has definitely made me a little happier. Not to mention the increased metabolism.  ;)

Hang in there. Unless you live in the northwest, the gray clouds will eventually pass.  ;)

Silvermane, I'm sorry to hear you're stuggling with gloom.  
Exercising is a great deterrent for the dumps!  I suggest starting by walking 30 minutes every day.  It takes at least 3 months to establish your aerobic base, so you can look at it as a 12 week goal to improve your cardiovascular fitness.  The repetitive motion of walking puts the mind in a natural meditative state which will clean out your brain from unhappy thoughts.  Add to that the release of endorphins and you'll be making yourself happy.  Literally!

Take care of yourself, we like having you around here!