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Hair Care >> Hair Coloring >> Please Advice, im totally lost!
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Message started by liliana on Feb 13th, 2008 at 3:49pm

Title: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by liliana on Feb 13th, 2008 at 3:49pm
Hi guys,

In my daily search for answers I found this website and it is great! Maybe here I can get some help. I will try to make my hair story short. I am hispanic, my hair naturally is wavy, (not curly at all)  but some areas where its more straight. Since i went to college i started to work on tv, and producers wanted me to lighten my hair. I started witha  few higlights but always ended up with way too many, but my skin didnt match the hair color and i would dye it all again with a brownish due to go again and add more highlights and that was my history for almost 10 years. 5 years  ago i moved to work in NY and they introduced me to extensions. Since my hair was extremely dry and damaged because of so much coloring, I put on extensions only to the botton half, meaning only 3 lines for length. I never wore them in the sides or top of the head. When fater a year i took them off (thinking that my hair was going to be LONG... i realized it really didnt grow at all, actually it was at the same or less lenght that when i started!! to my surprsie i decided to keep them for another year because i couldnt get used to so short hair. For another year or two i kept adding highlights, conditioners and praying for my hair to grow but again when i took the extensions off, my hair was way worse, it looked like someone pulled my hair and left it in pieces... so i told the stylist to NOT put them again, so i went and bought those clip ons extensions and thats what i have been using since ( a year and a half now). I wante dto give my hair a breather. I always had so much hair and now where is it??? Well,  my hair started to grow but in different lenghts, and in a very slow way. So i went in december 31st as a last resort to a new stylist and asked him to cut my ends as a bob, to get them all at the same level. But the guy exagerrated, and gave me a really short bob........i hated it, my partner hated it, i look old, when i am used to a lot of hair and wild... and now i just cant stand the short hair so that same day i put on the clip ons again :(  

I am really tired of them though, I am tired of pretending that is my hair, and making sure the clips dont show , sometimes my boyfriend helps me cover them when the wind blows.... i cant stand this anymore. I want my wavy natural hair back. Now i even wash my hair and its straight.... it lost teh natural waves.even when i have never permed or relaxed my hair. Even hairstylists have asked me "is your hair relaxed?" and i get offended because i have never done it and it looks like i have. That just shows how bad it looks.  I still work in TV and i am on camera every day. I need to use the curling iron to give my ends body and look decent. And go to the hair salon twice a week for blow dries. My roots are showing (half and inch) and i havent been back to retouch because thae new hair looks so damn shiny and healthy that i dont dare to touch it again......but i have to look good on camera. What should I do? My stylist adviced me to maybe get lowlights the same color of my natural color and let it grow this way ..... what should I do? I apologize for the long email, i am just so done with fighting with my hair and using false hair....i want my hair back! Is thatpossible after so many years of mistreating it? Thanks

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by Kiraela on Feb 13th, 2008 at 4:35pm
Hi liliana. It's definately possible to grow your hair back out, although it may not be quite the same as it was. That's not really so much due to damage, though, as the fact that as people age, their hair naturally changes. I don't know what to tell you about looking good on camera, unfortunately... I'd think the lowlights would help, but I don't know very much about professional coloring. My method of growing out dye has just been exactly that. Letting it grow out... there's a fairly distinct line between the light reddish brown and the almost black natural color. But then, I don't have to worry about it affecting my job.  :/ best of luck to you, though. I hope you find a solution that works. And I would advise not going with extensions, I don't think I've ever heard a single case where they didn't damage the hair badly.

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by Angel Spun on Feb 13th, 2008 at 4:45pm
Whoa.

Ok, for starters, please take a few deep breaths and read this.

Secondly, I'll only say that no human hair can survive what you're putting it through. If your methods don't change, then I'm afraid your results won't either.

Thirdly, give up the extensions. You already know from personal experience how damaging these can be. Even the clip-on variety. Clipping something into your hair, especially for long periods of time, is quite damaging as well.

Also, remember that coloring and styling are damaging processes and over time, they can ruin your hair. Sounds as if you've had to learn this the hard way. Looking good doesn't have to involve hairpieces, heated appliances and artificial color. But until you accept that, your hair is going to pay the price.

All the best and I hope that you find a solution soon.

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by liliana on Feb 13th, 2008 at 5:13pm
Well like i mentioned in my post my methods have changed... first i got rid of glued extensions and wear my hair naturally on weekends and at nights, i only use clip on extensions which i try to put in a delicate way during the day. Second, I stopped blow drying my hair at home, and now i just go to a professional to do it. I stopped highlighting for the last 4-6 months and decided to cut my ends in december. And now my roots are showing and i havent touched them. So small changes have been happening!! I just need an overall change, and keep adding advices to get my hair back to shape! :)

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by texian.traveler on Feb 13th, 2008 at 5:43pm
I would take the stylist's advice on the lowlights.  That is how I grew out the blond and went back to my natural brown/grey.  What does your contract say about your hair?  I know that many stage contracts state you will not make significant changes to your hair without director approval, but I don't know about TV.  

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by liliana on Feb 13th, 2008 at 5:50pm
3 months ago a new director came on board and asked me to go darker and get a a few subtle highlights around my face. I had my hair auburn with blond highlights but they said they needed a more "serious" look, so going darker was their choice. In my contract any proposed change has to be followed, although they assured me they wouldnt ask for really drastic changes.

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by Sakina on Feb 13th, 2008 at 7:25pm
Hi, liliana.  Your waves may come back after you get the damage cut off and get some length back.

I'm glad you've stopped with the extensions so the healing can begin!  I'd go with the low lights and if you can, stop getting your hair blowdried all together.  Heat is so damaging to the hair.

Your damaged hair cannot be repaired and must be cut off to have healthy hair.  If going short doesn't appeal to you or your boss, try taking off and inch or so every couple of months.  That will help you get rid of the damage as your healthy hair is growing in.

Good luck!!!

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by waiting4longlocks on Feb 13th, 2008 at 9:06pm
your hair sounds very similar to mine..
As far as the waves go, i know mine need some length for the waves to activate.
I think your colorist's advice is very good.. putting some low-lights in will be a low-maintenence way of growing your hair out... this will sort of "camouflage" your roots.

Maybe this a good time to make a hair commitment and grow it out as healthy and long as you can  :)

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by liliana on Feb 14th, 2008 at 12:33pm
Thank you girls..  ;) I guess the low lights is a good and safe idea, so i will go that route. Thank you for your advices!! ... a quick question, i dont have straight hair, so if i air dry my hair i look like a "crazy person" like my niece says..  i have friends who wash their hair, comb through it and get out ofthe house, and look great, but my hair is not that type. I know blowers damage hair, but every woman has different genetics, and not all of us can just wash and air dry. If your hair is my type, what advice would you give me to dry my hair, aside from using a blower? thanxs

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by Sakina on Feb 14th, 2008 at 4:38pm
As you can see from my avatar, I do not have straight hair.  Are you waves like mine?

I use microfiber towels to dry my hair.  The really suck up the water!  
To keep from looking like "a crazy person", don't turn your head upside down when its wet.  Don't rub your hair with a towel, gently scrunch instead.  After you've put in your styling products, don't touch your hair for at least 1 hour.  Handling your hair while its wet will create frizzies.

HTH  :)

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by liliana on Feb 14th, 2008 at 4:55pm
I will follow your guidelines. You have beautiful hair, God Bless, my natural hair has less waves than yours. Actually i dont use styling products, I only use Biolage Leave in conditioner and sometimes a drop of a serum when the hair is dry. What do you use?

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by Sakina on Feb 15th, 2008 at 12:21pm
Thanks!  I use Devacurl and Ouidad products.  They are specially made for curly/wavy hair.

Check out:

http://store.devachansalon.com/StoreFront.bok?cart_id=74062

Hey, didn't you say you're in NY?  You could actually go to this salon and have them fix your hair!!!  I live in Arizona and drive almost 3 hours to get my hair cut by a lady that has been certified to do the "Curly Girl" haircut technique.  It is soooo worth it!!!

Also:
www.ouidad.com

Mostly I use the Devacurl line, except for the gel.  I use Curl Quencher from Ouidad, which I like and I bought 32 oz of it and am still trying to use it up.  I started out using several lines from Ouidad and there's a cone in some of her products so when I went cone free I tried Devacurl.  

Specifically, right now I'm using:
Devacurl No Poo or Low Poo
Devacurl One Condition
Devacurl B'leave In leave in conditioner
Ouidad Curl Quench
Devacurl Set It Free anti frizz spray

I use camellia oil on my ends, 2 drops per side.  I usually scrunch the oil in after the anti frizz spray when wet, and then finger comb it in every night before bed.  Sometimes in the AM, too, if I think it needs it.

How long is your hair right now?

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by liliana on Feb 15th, 2008 at 12:29pm
Well, since 2 days ago, when i decided to stop using my clip on extensions ( and i feel SO weird without them).....lol my hair right now looks like a bob, my hair in the back rests just at the end of my neck......and the front part of the "bob"are a little longer,  2 inches or so below my jaw line).  ::)  And yes, I am in Manhattan, NY

Title: Re: Please Advice, im totally lost!
Post by Sakina on Feb 15th, 2008 at 7:46pm
Well, your haircut sounds cute, anyway.  You'll adjust to being without those clip ins.  I know its very hard to be patient while your hair grows back out.

Hang in there!!!

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