I need some advice.  I had long hair that was down to my waist. Thick and curly in the back and straight in the front.  It started to go grey. I started to go somewhere to get it dyed.  Not knowing ANYTHING.  She kept combing the color all the way through.  In hindsight I realize it was cause she kept dying it a different color everytime I went in. My beautiful healthy hair is long gone.  I now have fried hair, split ends, broken off hair sticking out everywich way, last gal that cut it, cut it shorter in the back than the front, cut 4 inches instead of 1.  I just keep changing people and complaining about the last hairdresser and I am just sick.  I don't want to get into a long rant from beginning to end of the story.  At this point, I am just so distrustful, I plan to quit letting anybody dye it all.  I am just going to keep it in a french braid for awhile.  I really just feel crying a great deal of the time.

I have 2 problems the way I see it.
1.  I need to find some good products to start putting on my hair.  Masks and conditioners I guess?  I am an Esthetician so I can go into pro stores and buy direct.  But I need advice on what the heck to buy.  I live in Northern Ca and the local pro shops here are called "Cosmo Pro"
2. I will need to try and and find some-one to dye my hair.  But it seems like everybody on the phone says yes, yes, yes I know EXACTLY how to take care of your hair.  But ya know?  NONE of them have long hair.  I feel like they think oh well, just cut it off. let it grow out.  Well that works great if you have short hair.  But how the heck to find a person who understands long hair???  
Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Thanks, Christina

First off, welcome to LongLocks, Christina.  I'm sorry you've had such a difficult time finding a stylist who understands your needs and desires.

I suggest that if you see someone who has great hair/color, ask them where they go.

You don't say how long your hair is now.  Would it be too difficult for you to stop coloring and gradually cut off the damage?  Your damaged hair cannot be repaired-it must be removed.  Split ends travel up the hair shaft so you must get them cut off-every 8 weeks for starters until your hair gets in better shape.

Starting to treat your hair properly and time is required to return your hair to its healthy state.  

Start by deep treating your hair every week.  Look for moisturizing shampoos and conditioners.  Ouidad makes my favorite deep conditoner.  Devacurl makes shampoo and conditioner for curly hair.  I suggest No poo and One Condition for your cleansing routine as a starting point.

If you are washing your hair every day, try going every other day.  If you are using heat to style or dry your hair-STOP!

Have you looked in your phone book for a salon that specializes in long hair?  Call around or search online.

I hope I've given you some hope-focus on the future!!!

Thanks for your reply!
My hair is now at my bra line.  I do not have any splits at the very ends of the hair shaft right now as that last lady cut so much off but I have a lot of broken off hair further up.  My hair used to be be very smooth and all one length.  But now when I look in the mirror,  I see all these peices sticking out.  There are even a couple of places where it has broken off at my scalp.
I will take your advice and keep the ends trimmed every 8 weeks.  That is the one thing I can keep control of.
I will look for these products you write of this week.
There are no places near me that specialize in long hair.  I am an hour away from San Francisco though.  Perhaps there would be something there.  Does anybody know of a place?
I will keep my eyes open for some-one who has long hair around here.
Thanks again for all your advice, Christina

Oh, I do know not to use heat of any sort on my hair.  I wash it every 3-4 days depending on how my scalp is smelling.  I know to just wahs the scalp and not rub lather into the rest of my hair.  I comb my hair while conditioner is still on it in the shower and then let it air dry.  
I am using JOICO Re-Construct Shampoo and K-PAK Deep Penetrating Reconstructor right now.  Does anybody have an opinion on these products?
Thanks, Christina

Welcome to LongLocks!   I too am sorry to hear of your difficulties.  Many of us have sworn off hair salons because of similar experiences.

Sakina's advice is good and those products are well known for their quality.  The only salons that I know of that specialize in long hair are those with stylists that have been trained by George Michael.  I believe there is a salon in Beverly Hills, but you could ask salons if they know of others.

Any chemical processes will damage the hair.  Most people with long hair eventually give up on coloring because of that damage.  Transitioning from coloring to not coloring is always an issue.  Trying to get your hair colored to match your natural color and add in some highlights or lowlights to compensate for the grey is one way to let the hair return to its natural color without having a significant noticable line marking the change.  If you insist on coloring your hair, you will want to make sure you only color the roots and not the entire length.  This will minimize the damage.  Regular conditioning is always a must with hair of length.  Moisture is the key to preventing damage.

Dealing with the damage that is not at your ends will be an ongoing process.  S&D or dusting sessions will help prevent the damage from traveling up the hair.  You can do this yourself with a sharp pair of scissors (I like to use an embroidery scissors) and good lighting.  Twist small sections of hair into a rope and look at the ends that are sticking out.  If you see damage (splits, breaks or white dots), trim the hair just above the damage.  This can be a very tedious process, but can help save your length.  

I'm sure some others with chime in with ideas as well.  Good luck!

Belated greetings, Christina. Welcome to LongLocks. :)

Gosh, coloring fiascos are the worst, aren't they? Pretty much every member of this forum has had to recover from some kind of hair disaster in the past. Many of us (myself included) have had to grow out colored hair and understand how frustrated you are right now.

As to your 2 main concerns, 1.) if there's a product that's calling out to you, give it a try! Finding the right products and routine for your hair is all trial and error. I use mostly Pantene products, from shampoos to treatments, and find them to be fabulous! But if you have access to professional grade products, that just gives you more options than the rest of us. ;)
   2.) Do you happen to know anyone with beauty school experience? The lady who cuts my hair has done so since I was a kid, and has been through beauty school, but does cuts and highlighting from her home. If you have a friend who is skilled in coloring, you may ask for her help. Otherwise, you could ask for references from friends/family. I don't color my hair, so I have no other suggestions, sadly. :-/

Welcome, Christina, and I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties.

My hairdresser has long hair herself, so my advice would be to look for a hairdresser who has long hair.  The next time you get it cut, make the hairdresser show you exactly how much is to be cut before she uses her scissors and tell her very firmly that you will not pay her if she cuts more than that.

I color my hair and have just switched to sulfate-free shampoo.  It would be gentler on your hair and you might try oiling your hair the nite before you shampoo.  I use jojoba oil, just 2 drops rubbed between my palms, then smoothed over and thru your hair.

Stop combing your hair in the shower.  Use your fingers to work the conditioner thru.  Look for seamless combs and brushes; Ric the combmaker (you can find him online) makes wooden combs that are very gentle.

Good luck.