First, I can't tell you how much finding this site means to me. I had my hair coloured again on Monday (three days ago) and because the ends were still holding the colour the growth had to be matched to the ends. This has meant that my hair seems to be much darker than I would have liked. I do have grey in my natural colour (dark brown) and the new colour is dark brown too, but with a reddish tinge.

I was told by the stylist that I should consider getting the length cut off and layered. I have curly hair that tends to frizz and she said this would give me a better hairstyle. But I don't want my hair cut off!!  What I want is a bit lighter colour. But she said that was impossible.

Plus she blow dried my hair!!!  It frizzed all the more! I had to come home and soak it down. And we have hard water, which doesn't help the frizz.  Oh, the hair-horrors I could tell you!!!

She also didn't want to try henna, because of the old colour on the ends. She used a demi-permanent, with low peroxide.

Any suggestions on how I could lighten up the colour without destroying my hair. It's dry, and I'm outdoors a lot so it stays kind of frizzy.  Yet I don't want to stop colouring it because I hate the grey.

Thanks for the descriptions of how to use the hair sticks.  I've had a couple for years, but never knew how to use them.

I'm really gonna like this site......   

Thank you so much for your reply! 

I had a feeling I would be stuck with this colour unless I give in a cut it off, which I won't do.  Well, the colour is livable, especially as it wear off a bit.

As for learning to live with my grey, I'm not old enough to want to do that yet. It makes me look and feel really old.

I do agree with you that I need to find a new hairstylist.  Unfortunately I live in a rural area and don't have access to the larger salons. All the places I've looked into say they know about long curly hair, but in reality they treat it just as if it was straight.  And if I hear one more stylist say I should cut my hair because I'm "not twenty anymore..." I'll poke her eye out with a rat-tail comb!

Thanks again for your advice.

Frist stay away from the person thats doing this to your hair! then you need to condition for a few weeks really..olive oil about two cap fulls mixed in with your shampoo and shake it well ..will help put extra shine in your hair and take out a lot of dryness..You really need to get the dryness out of your  hair a lot before you do much more to your hair.Or parts of your hair that get damaged  extremely could brake off. I think you need to let your hair get a little lighter naturaly also..for a little while..place oil on your hair and go out in the sun and condition and lighten naturaly when you have time...your hair may not need washing everyday,it may just need conditioning.and washing  every 2or 3 days..since you are outdoors a lot..and may only need one wash not two shampoo washing when you shampoo..as some people do..you are going to have to put moisture back in the hair, and yes the ends of your hair may have to be cut slightly ,but not a lot..just to get that old color off  the ends and get in shape..since you have naturaly curly hair,i would go with that too..get some conditioner that can be left in your hair and dont brush out the hair all the way,what i mean is brush maybe one time or comb thru to just get out tangles and all.. but then press the hair together in your hand or hands after left in conditioner is applyed..let dry naturaly also,,cool dry! no heat ! even if you have to use a regular fan ..but your hair will not be ready to color for a few weeks..hang in there..it will be ok.. Sunny

I have to agree on the olive oil-it left my hair very dry&frizzy (But maybe that´s because of my hair type,fine and straight)I have had better success with hemp and coconut oil