My mother got her hair permed and cut 2 inches long. She suggested I do the same with my "ratty" hair. My hair is not ratty in any way. It's wavy and shiny. She makes these hateful comments all the time. It's not what she says it's how she says it. Her other favorite is " women your age shouldn't try to wear their hair long" and "you really would look nice if you would cut your hair it would flatter your chubby face more."  On the other hand I receive complements on my hair from my neices and they tell me not to cut it that it is a part of me....Aunt Angie with the long hair. My grand daughter winds her little hand up in it when she naps, it gives her comfort while she is away from her mommy. My mom is just jealous....and spiteful. I just wish she would stop saying things that are so negative.

oh, I dont think I can give you much advice in this area, except that you should keep your hair the way you want it.  you hair is yours, and you didnt grow it to please anyone.
                                i hope your situation will better,

                                                   Dayne Brenna

Clearly, your mother and your aunt exist in some alternate reality where grown women are allowed to have any hairstyle they want, as long as it is short, colored, and permed. 

You are 19 and your mother thinks you are too old to have long hair? That's amazing. It's the ideal age to start taking care of your hair and developing your personal style.

By the time you're my age, you'll have hair that's well past the floor if you keep this up.

Something else I remember... when my Aunt Dee had her hair long in her 30's my mother used to tell me she looked rediculous because she was always playing with her curls. I thought she looked nice. 

My Granny (currently age 94) has had long hair, past her tailbone, for as long as I can remember. In fact, she hasn't had it cut since WWII - she had to be frugal so her cute, '30s bob got grown out! Even though she always wears it up, I always loved it best when she unpinned her hair and brushed it, or sat in the sun to dry it.

So anyone who says you're too old (or too anything) for long hair is just jealous and unnecessarily spiteful. Just think of my cool Granny! 

/Kate

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Imagine combing your hair at the end of the day and saying, "So that's where little Johnnie went!"  Or "...the dog..." or "...my purse..." or "...my keys..."

Hee hee.

Anjy, stay the course.  Naysaysers just don't get it, and I don't think they want to.  They don't have the drive or determination to do it, so they don't have long hair, which they could have, if they decided to do it.  It's that simple.

So it's up to us to try to convince them...

Jennifer Eve

Well, I for one would like to have an elegant, gray bun when I grow old!  My mother knows about it, and commented it (not exactly rudely, but not very approvingly either). I was quite firm with her- but different approaches work with different people.

In any case, it's your hair, and it doesn't have to please anyone but you . If you like it long, then that's all the reason you need for wearing it long  .

I absolutely love hair that is white or gray.  From looking at my aunts I will probably just get  enough gray to make my hair look dull, but oh well.

Heck, I'm 43 and I just started growing out my hair because I don't want to look like every other woman in my tri-state area who is aged 50+.  I *want* to look different.  I don't want to fall right in line with everybody else!!  I wish people could learn to keep their negative opinions to themselves, or at least learn how to phrase things better.

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Great visual 

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I know a lady with a BSL silver braid, she does it half up, half down then dutch braids the lot ftom there, sometimes she adds a ribon near the top.  If anyone told her she was too old for long hair, well, shes younger than she looks and her husbands a giant and one of the best fighters (hes in the SCA) I know. *giggles*  I have to tell her about hitting people with that braid when it gets a bit longer.

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  Most everyone around here over 35-40 chops off their hair, too.  That's one of the reasons I'm growing mine long-even though I do look good with short hair- I want to be different(I'm in my late 40's)

The irony of life -- so many on this board can't wait to get gray or white hair, and so many people color over their gray or white hair! lol 

[quote author=bikerbraid link=board=hairandsociety;num=1082271550;start=15#25 date=04/04/05 at 07:25:17]

The reality is...... The picture you have of what you will look like with that gorgeous all white/silver/gray hair is not how you look when it starts to come in.  Some hair never gets to that pretty, all one color stage.  My mother had beautiful auburn hair, then the gray came in.  She has colored her hair for umteen years.  Every now and then, she tries to let her natural color grow in.  I've seen what it looks like - it ain't pretty.  At 83 she is 80% gray, but it is an ugly color that makes her look 103.  I don't blame her for coloring it back to her vibrant auburn.  (Plus it makes her look 63!).

Yup-I know exactly what you mean,BB.  I have a few greys coming in just in the bang area, nowhere else.  I think grey hair would just make me look older right now.  That's why I started highlighting (and quit perming) 5 years ago.  I would like to get more natural colouring- I've looked at herbatint and naturtint-and at henna- I'm kinda afraid to henna- On the one hand I think grey hair can be beautiful-but I have a pale, pale complexion that needs colour.  Even my natural med brown is not as vibrant as it was years ago.  I just think that the haircolour livens me up.  But I know its a trade off- it does some damage to the hair- and there's the rumors that it isn't healthy.

I just messed that up the top half was written by Bikerbraid-I'm a computer klutz.

quote author=bikerbraid The reality is...... The picture you have of what you will look like with that gorgeous all white/silver/gray hair is not how you look when it starts to come in.  Some hair never gets to that pretty, all one color stage.


So far my hairline is going grey and it does look faded, even though my herbal rinse blends in the greys a bit.  I cling to the facts that:  1.  any "in between" stage is awkward, whether growing or greying  2.  My maternal grandmother (and I take after my mom's side of the family hair-wise) had lovely, pure white hair.  So, I live in hope.  And I hope no-one thinks I"m putting down anyone for dying their hair; the only reason I don't is I"m too lazy to keep up with the roots.  If it weren't for that, I'd have been a redhead for years!   

i think it all depends ... grey is pretty dull while white is sparkle. i've seen a lady with very dark hair and it had a nice sparkle (in her cas i think it was a silvery grey but in contrast with her almost black hair it was neat. it also didn't come in streaks but it seemed nearly like she had put powdered pearl ino her hair.

that must be a hard situation to deal with. my mother is the complete opposite. she supports whatever i want to do with hair. if i were in that situation i would make it clear that im not changing my hair for anyone and that it hurts my feelings when you say things like that to me. whats that saying... if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. i agree she may just be jealous. try not to take it personally. maybe give her a history of women in history before the 1920's who had long hair and maybe she will back off a little.

we all support you here whatever you chose as long as it makes you happy