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L'Etoile Perdue by William Bouguereau







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hair and "image" (Read 43508 times)
ellasongbird
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hair and "image"
Aug 10th, 2004 at 12:28pm
 
**sigh**

So, I have a fairly butch, tough woman kind of image...I played the trombone in marching band, had big, bulging muscles, refuse to wear skirts, don't wear a drop of makeup...etc.

The ONE girly thing I love is long hair.

Now my hair is really short, styled, layered and butch looking, and everyone on the PLANET that I know is telling me to keep it. "It's you!" "It's the best you've ever looked!" "You look hot!" "You didn't look good with long hair last time." "Your hair is too thin to wear long." "It suits you so perfectly, why would you want to change it?"

ARRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHH!!!!!!

The entire reason I chopped my hair off was to GET IT HEALTHY. And now the whole universe is telling me that I look hot like this and I should keep my hair like this.

Awfully hard to resist people telling you that you look hot right now...especially when you're looking ahead to several YEARS of painstaking growth.

I just had to complain...I have always adored long hair, and I've always had to deal with people telling me I shouldn't have it, can't have it, don't, didn't or won't look good with it. It's very, very annoying.

**sigh** A few years of this until my hair gets past shoulder-length and people realize I'm dead serious? Fun.

Ella
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Babyfine
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #1 - Aug 10th, 2004 at 3:14pm
 
I'm 48 years old with very fine, thin, hair.  A year ago
I got it chopped from BSL to and earlobe-length bob
in back with layers in front and heavy blond highlights
(I'm a brunette).  The good thing was the cut got rid
of the old perm I had in it.  (I wish I hadn't got the
highlights.) ANYWAY- everyone kept telling me  OH,
you look SOOOO much younger with your short hair-
It's YOU.ect, ect (Must have looked like an old hag with
the long hair).  You should KEEP it that way-they'd say.
This was my close friends and family, people who felt
comfortable saying this of course.   My husband said-
Oh it brings out your eyes so much more.  I Hated it
myself but its hard to listen to that and not be swayed.
SOOO I kept it that way for about 6 months into December but I got sick of A.) going to the salon
every 6- 8 weeks for a trimand root touchup at a cost
of a lot of money.  I should have gone in more.  But I was  broke.  So I grew it to an all around bob- keeping
the blonde, which was a mistake.  (hair damage).
Anyway, this Christmas I decided for myself that I want
to grow it long, go natural ( no colour or perms) and
maybe, just maybe find my terminal length.  So I'mgoing
to do it, darn it.  I figure , if I don't like it when it gets
long, Hey , I can always cut it.  I've also been inspired
by a childhood girlfriend of mine who lives out of state
who is my age, has fine thin hair, and whose hair is
now almost to her waist.  Her hair is even thinner than
mine, if that were possible.   She always had short hair
when we lived close.  She is going to send me a picture.
So Ella, I kind of know what you're going through.   I'm
going to try to stay the course and not cut it.
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Babyfine
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #2 - Aug 10th, 2004 at 3:17pm
 
I forgot to mention that people tell me my hair doesn't
look good long either,(unless its in a perm or curled)
but I'm going to ignore that, too.
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Rapunzel
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #3 - Aug 10th, 2004 at 4:25pm
 
GOOD FOR YOU! You go gurl ;)
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ellasongbird
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #4 - Aug 10th, 2004 at 4:34pm
 
Sounds good.

I know a woman with hair pretty much the EXACT thickness and texture of mine -- unbelievably fine, unbelievably thin -- with hair down to her knees.

She really needs to even up the ends, but other than that, it is GORGEOUS.

She is also extremely skinny, though, so it works.

**note to self** Lose lots of weight and hope that long, fine, thin, straight hair looks good!

I'm going to ignore them, too. It's just hard when people say I look hot right now. I don't hear that very often. But I want long hair, dammit.  **stomps foot**

Ella   Wink
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flaming bunny
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #5 - Aug 10th, 2004 at 5:10pm
 
the thing is.....if you look hot with short hair, you are going to look D.A.M.N hot with long hair  Grin
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ellasongbird
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #6 - Aug 10th, 2004 at 5:23pm
 
Well, I just looked scraggly the last time I had long hair.   Roll Eyes

HOWEVER, I didn't take care of it properly so it was all splitting...AND, fine-thin hair + overweight = even fatter looking face and thinner looking hair than you actually have!  **cringe**

So I figure, lose a bunch of weight, get down to my ideal weight, and treat my hair with love, and it should look much better!

...at least, that's the plan.

Ella
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Anais Satin
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #7 - Aug 10th, 2004 at 6:42pm
 
Well, Ella, I hope you're a frequent visitor! I dealt with a pixie for 10-15 years (depending on the definition of pixie, I had a half-pixie for awhile too) But never longer than my chin. Now it's down to mid-back and in better condition than ever. I think you have a great advantage, joining LL with short healthy hair. I also think you'll be starting a trend... hair role models! Grin

Best of luck
Anais Satin
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bikerbraid
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #8 - Aug 10th, 2004 at 7:03pm
 
So much of "how you look" comes from how you feel about yourself.  If you feel good with your long hair, you will look good. 

If your long hair was not in good condition previously, it probably detracted from your looks.  Taking good care of your hair this time will eliminate that.

Don't let people tell you how to wear your hair.  It is your hair, you can do what you want with it.  (Just look at what some people do with their hair these days - all kinds of un-natural colors, spiked, processed, razor cut.  How can anybody tell you your natural hair looks worse than that!!)

Be strong, be an individual, do what makes you happy.
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bikerbraid
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ellasongbird
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #9 - Aug 10th, 2004 at 8:02pm
 
The stylist who layered my hair also razor cut some of it, I think. He was doing something that was NOT with scissors...is that going to hurt my hair?

Eurgh, I'm in such a mess with this stupid cut.

Ella
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #10 - Aug 11th, 2004 at 12:29am
 
Razor cuts as I know them, use a razor to cut the hair at an angle instead of straight across.  On short hair, this can give some extra thickness, but on long hair, it can cause splits.
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bikerbraid
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Cairn
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #11 - Aug 11th, 2004 at 3:13am
 
Well, I really can't relate to you here - none of my current friends knew me when I had short hair and have nothing to compare my current look with, my family generally avoids commenting on my hair at all, I've always thought that I look much better with longer hair than short, and no one's ever called me hot.  Roll Eyes


If I have any advice, it'd be to remember that you have no obligation to society to appear "hot," but you do have an obligation to yourself to be yourself. Wink And that'll get you a lot more respect in the end.
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #12 - Aug 11th, 2004 at 5:52am
 
Quote:
...I have always adored long hair, and I've always had to deal with people telling me I shouldn't have it, can't have it, don't, didn't or won't look good with it.



Now that sounds familiar Grin Don't know how often I heard that,but I'm a very stubborn person and chose to ignore whoever had anything to say about my hair I did not want to hear Wink
I never discuss my hair with anyone who seems to be anti-long-hair,and this has worked very well for me.There are of course a few who *will*try to do just that (namely family) but I'm very good at just ignoring nasty remarks. Grin

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ellasongbird
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Re: hair and "image"
Reply #13 - Aug 11th, 2004 at 1:32pm
 
Hey Anne-Marie, can I borrow some of your stubbornness? I could sure use some! Wink

The most frustrating part is how long it's going to take before I see results. I'm not big on patience, but I'm looking at this as a chance to EXERCISE that patience that I always wish I had more of.  Wink  Growing hair out from three inches is DEFINITELY an exercise in patience! So, yay for getting long hair and inner self-improvement all at the same time.  Smiley

I think I could deal with "you should cut your hair" remarks better than "you should keep it like this because you look much better" remarks. I don't LIKE my hair like this.

Is there anyone here who has grown layers out who knows about how long it takes?

Ella
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Anais Satin
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layers, ohmygawd!
Reply #14 - Aug 11th, 2004 at 3:07pm
 
For the record, I really admire those who can sing. Do you sing jazz at all?

Anyhoo, growing layers is really not that bad. It takes a lot of patience though, of which you sound like you've got surplus Grin My bangs were 3-4 inches when I started growing, and now they're around mid-neckish (they sometimes grow slower than the rest of head hair) The rest of my hair was somewhere between neck and forehead. It was a semi-pixie. 

The biggest things about layers by my experience are (1) not being able to tie all of your hair back at the same time, and (2) not being able to do a decent braid until your hair is sufficiently long. I still can't do a proper English braid and my hair is around mid-back.

I tried coping with my bangs and layers using metal clippies (baaad for hair... I discovered LL after my metal-clip and thin-hairtie abuse) So you'll have to find hair-friendly clippies and stock up on them when the time is right. I kept them literally everywhere, two in each purse/tote, one attached to each zipper and zipper pull, several in my makeup bag, and the rest in my ashtrays (I'm just a collector, just a collector).

Anais

p.s. Do fabric-covered/velvet-covered snappy clips exist? Anybody know?
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