Hello All (that remember me),

Well, I guess I should start with hair since that is what this site is about.  I dunno how long it is.  I have not measured it since November I guess.  It is past BSL anyway.  I get a lot of compliments about it and have refered people to this site.

I know you are all going to think I only show up when things are bad....and maybe you are right since the time I returned to work.  As you know, I lost my 'son' at the end of March.  Since then I have been diagnosed with a heart disease, sleep apnea, my car died (which living 20 km from the nearest store and 45 from the nearest bus stop is a rather large problem).  Work has had me overloaded with overtime for months.  All this has kept me too busy to contact any of you.  As difficult as this has all been, I have struggled on.

But tonight I am facing one of my worst nightmares.  There will be many of you that have faced this and for those who have not...you all will.  Still, today is my day.  My father died at 1 am on July 10th.  My sister (who some of you will know is a bit of a problem) has been a trooper to this point.  My mother has kept strong.  My mother wanted to see my father's body.  My sister, although she has done much over the past...almost 24 hours...could not face it and so I went with my mother.  It was hard but best for both of us I believe.

I am, of course, teary, heartbroken and unsure how to survive this.  But life can be cruel.  My father will be buried on Monday July 14th.  That is my b-day.  Of course I kinda knew when he died on a Thurs. morning, it would be on Monday and I knew it was my b-day.  I thought it kinda sucked but thought it is just one b-day and it would be .... well okay I guess. "So one b-day would suck" was the  sort of attitude I had.  That was until I thought about it more.  For the rest of my life my b-day will be the day we buried my dad and that will be in my siblings minds each year too.  And my poor sweet mother.....it will always be the day she buried her husband of 51 years.  God bless my poor mother.  While I hurt, I cannot imagine the sorrow and pain she must feel.  I watched her take the wedding band off my father and tell him how proud she has been of him and how much she loves him and will miss him.  God bless her...she is being so strong and so selfless right now.  I know she will survive this...but where she finds the strength I do not know.

My parents met when my mother was 19 and they dated until they married when she was 21.  For the next 51 years she raised 3 children, held my father's hand thru 4 open heart surgeries, two cancers and countless other things.  At 72 she has lost her husband and we are not even sure what caused his death.  We will never know.  He died in hospital while they were trying to figure out what was ailing him.  We do not wish to autopsy.  They did EVERYTHING together from shopping, sit down meals 3 times a day, etc.  They were never apart.  Now after 53 years she is alone.  Tonight she lies in a bed alone knowing Daddy will never come back.  In the morning she will eat her first breakfast without Daddy, etc.  Yes I know I am being dramatic...but these are my thoughts.

What we children are going thru can never compare with that.  But on my selfish note...how can I ever really celebrate my b-day again knowing that my family is going to be constantly reminded that this day is the day we buried my dad? 

I know that someone out there is going to tell me that one of their parents died on their b-day.  Yes, that is worse and I cannot negate that.  My condolences to you since I know it must be terrible.

I am sure that all of you that have lost a parent can tell me the date of their death in a flash.  How many of you can remember the date of the buriel without thinking about it for a second is what I would like to know.  My family will always remember that my daddy died on July 10th...and because of my b-day they will always remember he was buried on July 14th.  They will never have to think...and every year they will gather on my b-day and remember.  Unlike my name, I cannot change my b-day.  Right now I just want to forget my b-day from now on.

Yes, I know many of you will feel I am full of self pity.  I cannot refute that.  Yes, I am.

But tonight my 'son' is sleeping at the feet of my father.  In this I take some solice.

JD

PS (I planted a lilac bush in memory of the real Joey Dog once spring came.  Today a planted an apple tree in memory of my father.  This is my place to remember them.  God bless them both.)

JD,I am so sorry for your loss.  I keep you in my prayers all the time.  Yet I know I feel there are no words to express my sincere sympathy to you and your family.  Have faith,keep looking at the light at the end of the tunnel.

I am very sorry for your loss.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jerry