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L'Etoile Perdue by William Bouguereau







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Skyfire's Journal (Read 63523 times)
Skyfire
Ex Member


Skyfire's Journal
Aug 20th, 2008 at 1:20pm
 
I write a lot, I journal on Microsoft Word, and so when I want to start a new paragraph, I hit return-tab, and then return again when nothing happens.

Very bad instinct. #2 post that went down the drain.  Grr.

So, anyway.

My mother trimmed my hair when I was a child; this was the only contact my hair had with scissors until I was ten years old.  My hair was soft, sleek and straight, and down to mid-thigh. (I have pictures which I will post once I dig them up and scan them)

Then my parents got divorced.  My dad remarried, and I visited him on the weekends.  My step-mother was a hairdresser and refused to have anything to do with my hair.  When I returned home on Sunday, my mother would spend an hour combing out all the tangles, grumbling under her breath and apologizing when it pulled.

This was a point of contention between the two 'families'.  My mother agreed to cut it to my waist, if they would help care for it after that.  We both cried.  My stepmother's idea of caring for it involved daily washing and rough brushing.  She had me bite down on a pencil, it hurt so bad.  I tried brushing it myself, very carefully, but after a few seconds she'd get mad and tell me to 'brush like you mean it' and take over.

Finally she bullied me and my father into letting her cut my hair.  She gave me this horrible thing, like joan jett, but without any body, because my hair doesn't do that.  My mother's hairdresser fixed it by trimming it evenly just above my shoulders.  It was never the same again.

Through high school and college, I dyed and cut my hair a million different ways.  I bleached it and dyed it seven different colors with semi-permanent dye.  Eventually, I ended up with a pixie cut to get rid of all the damage, and I've been going through a cycle of trying to grow it out and cutting it to a chin-length bob.

I don't blow-dry, but I've been washing daily, rarely conditioning, brushing with a metal brush, tying tight ponytails.  I've decided to give it a rest; try washing less, conditioning more, wearing loose braids instead of ponytails.  We'll see what happens!

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« Last Edit: Aug 25th, 2008 at 3:47pm by N/A »  
 
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Skyfire
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #1 - Aug 20th, 2008 at 1:27pm
 
Oh, and also... Roll Eyes

My daughter is in second grade and I've been doing with her hair just what my mother did with mine.  Her hair is golden-brown like her daddy's and all the way down to her waist.  My husband is always bugging me to grow out my hair and he grumps when I cut it, so no matter what happens I know he'll support me keeping her hair nice, and probably mine, too!
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bikerbraid
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #2 - Aug 20th, 2008 at 3:36pm
 
Congrats on starting your hair journal!

I cringed as I read about your step-mom's method of handling your hair.  I won't go to a hair salon because of that type of treatment.  Less is best is a good motto.  Less brushing, less washing, less heat - processing - chemicals.  Treat your hair like fine silk and it will reward you with beautiful hair.

Good luck with your hair goals for both you and your daughter.
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bikerbraid
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Angel Spun
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #3 - Aug 20th, 2008 at 5:07pm
 
Welcome to the world of hair journaling, Skyfire.

And OMG, I am so sorry to hear of the abuse that you suffered at the hands of your wicked stepmother!  Shocked  *hugs* I could never figure out why some mothers brush their childrens' hair so violently. *shudder* It's a relief to know that you're not inflicting that same treatment on your daughter.

But it seems that you've come a long way, so congrats.  Smiley
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Skyfire
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #4 - Aug 20th, 2008 at 5:13pm
 
Thank you both so much!
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Luminita
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #5 - Aug 21st, 2008 at 3:58am
 
Welcome! And just let me say, my mom choped mine to my chin when i was three because i wouldn't let her near my hair with a brush when dry. Tight corkscrew curls and dry brushing really doesn't mix!  

I'm happy that at least one of your moms tried to do what was right for your hair. And that your trying to do the same for your daughters hair.
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Skyfire
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #6 - Aug 21st, 2008 at 12:40pm
 
Here's a pic of my daughter's hair that I took yesterday:

...
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Angel Spun
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #7 - Aug 21st, 2008 at 12:48pm
 
WOW!  Shocked
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Skyfire
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #8 - Aug 21st, 2008 at 1:18pm
 
I haven't actually brushed her hair in a couple of days--not since I found this site.  I bought a wooden comb, and have been using it on myself and her.  I still have yet to find any stray hairs in it (unlike the rat I pull out of the brush every two days).  Not only that, but she says, "Wow, mom, that didn't hurt even once!"  I've started conditioning her every day, too.  I have to wash her hair every day because she gets the front so dirty.  I try to tell her to wash her hands before she touches it, but she comes home from school with every project she's done that day in her hair.  paint, paper mache. Sigh.

Anyway.  I've been going on about her hair rather than mine.  Hers is so much nicer, though!

Like I said, I've been using the wooden comb and I may never brush my hair again.  I've been washing every third day.  I was afraid to do this, because of the tendency of the front of my scalp to look sort of greasy, but it doesn't really look bad--better than a lot of women I see with their hair all glued down with gel.  I was also afraid it would smell bad, but the night of the third day (I shampooed the next day) my husband took a deep sniff and said, "Your hair smells really nice today.  You wash it or something?"

I use Pantene Classic Clean, shampoo and conditioner for now.  I like it, but I'm going to try some of the other ones I've seen people using on the site--particularly the Restoratives.

I measured 23 inches yesterday, but of course, that's before my big trim in September. Undecided
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livingandlovingx3
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #9 - Aug 21st, 2008 at 1:44pm
 
WOW! That's some long hair your daughter has!
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #10 - Aug 21st, 2008 at 7:50pm
 
Your daughter's hair is so beautiful!  I'm glad you've switched to a wooden comb, it makes a huge difference!

Sounds like we're at about the same length.  Be patient, and keep up the good work!  Your hair will adjust to being washed less often.  I now only wash 2 times a week!
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Skyfire
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #11 - Aug 22nd, 2008 at 11:27am
 
So I tried some oil yesterday--jojoba oil, I got it from Trader Joe's.  I used way too much, I know.  I meant to use less, but it poured out of the bottle way faster than I expected, and I didn't want to waste it...

I put my hair up in a bun to conceal the oily ends for the day (I had already washed, and I wasn't about to wash twice in one day) and then braided it for night.  This morning I woke up and my face was hot and puffy.  I used to get this same reaction as a teenager to skin care procucts, anything that would stay on overnight.  I haven't used any of that in years; gentle soap in the shower with a very good rinse is all my face can handle.  I can only think that the oil was the cause; it got on my pillow and then on my face.  But I've learned my lesson!  Cover my hair if I'm going to oil it overnight.  Smiley

I weighed myself this morning, and I'm at 194.  I haven't done it in a while, because I had my wisdom teeth removed at the end of June, and I knew I wouldn't weigh true because my diet was off.  I'm finally back on cereal.  Not being able to eat cereal in the morning really messed up everything for me.  It's always been part of my routine, and I felt severely deprived without it.

Anyway, I am glad to be down to 194.  That sounds bad, I guess; most people tell me I look like I weigh a lot less.  My goal is 150, but slow and steady is how I'm going about it.  At my most, I weighed 250.  I weighed about 230 when I was pregnant, and then about 195 for several years after.  I had to move back in with my mom for a couple years, and that's when I went all the way to 250.  My DH was there with us, and the stress...

I haven't been working these past few weeks.  Darn economy!  I'm looking for work, but I'm not getting as much excersize as I would like.  I used to bike to work.  Now I mostly take the bus while looking, and sit in front of the computer.  I should make it a point to take a long bike ride or at least a walk every day.  it would probably help my mood and my attitude and make it easier to get a new job.

I started taking flinstone's vitamins, but I'm going to switch to an adult chewable when I get some $.  I can't swallow anything bigger than an ibuprophen, and then only if it's a gelcap.  I'd take a gelcap multivitamin.  I know they have liquid vits, but they don't seem to have a very good formula.

I guess that's it for now!
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #12 - Aug 22nd, 2008 at 12:43pm
 
Just want to welcome you to LL and the wonderful world of hair journals.   Smiley  I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience with your stepmother abusing your hair.  That woman gives the rest of us stepmothers a bad name!  From the photo of your daughter, though, you seem to be doing an excellent job.   Cool  Now all you have to do is work on YOUR hair!   Grin  I'm like you in that my hair is fine, thin and straight.  I also use Pantene products, although not Classic Clean.  Look forward to getting to know you.    Smiley 
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livingandlovingx3
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #13 - Aug 22nd, 2008 at 2:15pm
 
I think we are in the same boat Skyfire! I weigh between 192-195. I was around 120 when I married, and after all my kids I retained the weight of 170. We to moved in with my in-laws until our house was completed. That is when I gained all my weight. People also tell me I don't look like I weigh what I do, but it still bothers me.
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Skyfire
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Re: Skyfire's Journal
Reply #14 - Aug 22nd, 2008 at 4:41pm
 
I did a CWC today.  I don't think anything's going to make my hair look good until I get that trim. Sad

But at least it feels nice and soft, and if I get into good habits now, maybe they'll stick!

It's great to meet you all.  My stepmother wasn't all bad, just bad with hair.  We used to stay up late watching R-rated movies.  My mom would have screamed!

L&Lx3--I haven't weighed 120 my whole adult life!  I'm fairly tall, though...I guess.  When I was in my best shape, biking everywhere and watching my diet, I weighed 150.  I was happy!  Then, you know, I got a BF with a car, stopped riding as much snd so on and so forth.  And healthy is what I'm going for!  That's why, slow and steady.  Habits!

I'm in a really good mood right now.  I don't know why or where it came from but...Hooray!  Hooray for being alive! Cheesy
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