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Why must I continually defend my hair? (Read 12239 times)
oldkathy
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Why must I continually defend my hair?
Sep 18th, 2006 at 3:27pm
 
Today, again, I got into a discussion about why I have long hair. This time it was my 80+ years old parents and my 60+ years old husband.  My dad asked why I want long hair.  When I explained that I feel more feminine with long hair and I find it easier to care for, he said that was a good reason.  My mom then said how easy her very short hair was. (I didn't tell her it looked like a little boy with white hair....)

Then my husband got into the old coloring and perming discussion.  He is still carrying a 20 year old photo of me with a collar length perm.  Sure I look better, because I was 20 years younger!  But the perm was aweful! 

I love my long hair!  Why do I feel like I have to defend it to everyone?  Why can't they like it as much as I do?  Am I really so crazy to want classic length at my age?
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Rainbow
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #1 - Sep 18th, 2006 at 4:00pm
 
Do not worry, do what makes you happy. Hair is precious enjoy your long locks.

I do not favour short frizzy bleached out perms on mature women as it adds at least ten years to their age.

I have bob length and let me tell you there is nothing feminine about it. I will wear long hair all my life because that is when it looks its absolute best.

Tell people simply that you are never going to cut it, end of.
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bikerbraid
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #2 - Sep 18th, 2006 at 6:12pm
 
Hang in there!  You are not alone.  My mother (85)  is always making comments for me to cut my hair.  Yes I know I can look cute with a pixie.  But I also look fine with long hair.  I tell her (and others that suggest I cut my hair), that at MY age, I'm old enough to decide what I like and want and to follow through with it.  I also recognize that If I cut my hair short now, I will most likely NEVER have long hair again.  I'm not quite ready to make that committment yet.  I'mm gonna enjoy it while I can and so should you!
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bikerbraid
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Angel Spun
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #3 - Sep 18th, 2006 at 9:16pm
 
If you love it, then keep it, Kathy. No one's opinions can or should part you from something you love.

It's true that not everyone is going to share your passion for long hair. People have different opinions about what looks good at any age...but ultimately, it's your life, and it's about what makes you happy. You only go around once, so you might as well get the most enjoyment out of it as you can.

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Sakina
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #4 - Sep 18th, 2006 at 11:42pm
 
I'm glad you love your long hair.

As for your husband and that OLD Kathy picture, how about finding one of those studios where the do budoir (sorry for the spelling) photos and get one with your NEW Kathy long hair.
*hee hee*
  Wonder what he'd say then...

You want what you want.  Like BB said, you're old enough to know how you want your hair!!
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roomtogrow
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #5 - Sep 19th, 2006 at 6:03pm
 
Oldkathy,
I'm sure your hair is gorgeous.  Random side note: I just watched a public tv special on Willy Nelson, and there's this shot of him with his hair down and Bobby is brushing it for him. Her hair  is just as long and thick and lovely-and I thought, "wow, everyone should have long hair-their whole life." I know you aren't as old as either of them, so my point is that your hair should be whatever length you love it at. Keep it. I'm trying to get there and when it is finally long, I want to keep growing it as I get older. So if Willy Nelson can have long cool hair, all the rest of the world should too!
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Joan-Ivy
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #6 - Jun 28th, 2007 at 5:16pm
 
Don't listen to them, you're not crazy! Long hair is so elegant on older women; one of my favourite stories when I was a little kid was about my grandmother's mother and how my mom used to sneak down early every morning to watch her comb her classic lenght hair, braid it and put it in an updo. Smiley
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Debr
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #7 - Jun 28th, 2007 at 10:42pm
 
Hi Old Kathy,  my mom keeps telling me (in her own special way) she doesnt really approve of my hair.  Her hair is roughly 2 inches or shorter.  When I made the decision to grow it, her comment was ewwww, I will never let mine grow!!  But just as my hair is mine, your hair is yours, feel free to wear it as you please.

Debr
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RosaRL
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #8 - Aug 28th, 2007 at 12:50pm
 
It is so odd to me that other people want to have a say over what I do and do not do to my hair. This has been a life long problem. When its been short, there are people who hate that -- like my mother and when its been long I get 'why dont you do something with your hair?' granted, when my hair is long it looks very unkept because it is neither curly enough to look curly nor strait enough to look strait and I despise using a blowdryer to pull it out strait -- or chemicals such as setting jell and stuff like that. I just let it go however it wants to go - hippy style.

As for the people that always have a problem with it... well they do not have to wear it and they can go do their own hair.

BTW- I think a lot of them are just jellous!!!
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Kiraela
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #9 - Aug 28th, 2007 at 8:58pm
 
Hehee.. I had a girl come up to me a few weeks ago and tell me "You should cut your hair.. it's too long and the color is weird." I grab/pulled my hair over my shoulder and petted it, whispering loud enough for her to hear "it's okay, baby. she doesn't know you, she didn't mean to be mean..."

the poor girl scurried away like there were demons on her tail!


*snort.
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bikerbraid
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #10 - Aug 30th, 2007 at 9:58am
 
RosaRL wrote on Aug 28th, 2007 at 12:50pm:
It is so odd to me that other people want to have a say over what I do and do not do to my hair. This has been a life long problem. When its been short, there are people who hate that -- like my mother and when its been long I get 'why dont you do something with your hair?' granted, when my hair is long it looks very unkept because it is neither curly enough to look curly nor strait enough to look strait and I despise using a blowdryer to pull it out strait -- or chemicals such as setting jell and stuff like that. I just let it go however it wants to go - hippy style.

As for the people that always have a problem with it... well they do not have to wear it and they can go do their own hair.

BTW- I think a lot of them are just jellous!!!


I grew up with a gal that had hair that sounds like yours.  She was determined to have long hair like all of her cheerleader friends, but when left loose, it looked like she had just crawled out of bed and didn't own a comb or brush.  She was so frustrated!  Angry  But with time, she discovered SHE could do things with her hair that her straight haired friends could not!.  A french braid looked fantastic, a french roll was elegant; she could do a number of styles that her hair would "lock" in, where the rest of us would have hair slipping out almost instantly.  Ultimately she had her long hair and her own style for it. 

Maybe you just need to find your own style for your hair.  Smiley
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bikerbraid
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brunette85
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #11 - Oct 13th, 2007 at 4:53pm
 
its funny how people are like that when it comes to long hair. i had a similar incident with the discussion of long hair. this was when my hair was shorter though. i knew this woman who had waist length hair and she would always ask why i didnt do anything with my hair. i told her i wanted to grow it long. i missed it being long. and she would always insist i cut it to "frame my face". i told her well when you cut your hair to fram it ill do the same and of course she refused to cut hers. lol. how ironic that eveyone is usually told by a short haired person to cut thier hair, when i was told by a long haired person.
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Joanna
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #12 - Jan 30th, 2008 at 7:47pm
 
oh I get this all the time and when people ask me why i want long hair, i normally say 'probably the same reason you want short hair'

I do not understand why people are so hung up on what WE want to do with our hair, its a personal thing which is ageless, theres no correct length for any age its what we like and what fits our personality what counts.

For me long hair is what makes me, when i had my waist length cut, i grieved honestly as i felt part of what made me, me disappear so now im growing it back and will be well into my forties when i get it back where i want it and i intend to keep it long for the rest of my days, regardless of other peoples opinions, i heard a really good put down on another forum which i think of and will use it one of these days and that is ' im not here to colour your world!' i think this is quite appropriate!

Like i wouldn't dream of walking up to somebody with short hair and saying ' hey dont you think your hair could do with a bit more length to it?' so what gives them the right to put me down, my mother constantly reminds me that my hair will soon have to be cut shorter??? says who is this a law thats passed me by? my father however loves my hair long and is constantly fussing over it.

you grow your hair as long as you want, your a grown woman and have earned the right to wear your hair as you please. Smiley
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Saahira
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #13 - Jan 20th, 2009 at 3:17pm
 
My mother too was always the worst critic of my long hair.  When I was a teenager still living at home, I lived in fear that she would sneak in with the scissors while I was asleep and cut it all off!  (yes, like she threatened to do, heavy sigh - she wasn't a very pleasant woman)

Nowadays the worst people are the higher up "professional" women in my office who all sport what I call "helmet head hair."  You know, earlobe length, smooth, and turned under slightly at the bottom.  Like a helmet.  And with enough hairspray that they could stand in a hurricane and their hair wouldn't move.

When they comment about me needing to cut my hair, I just tell them flat out, with a smile of course, that my long hair is MUCH easier to take care of than their short hair.  That when they have a bad hair day there's nothing they can do about it except look hideous all day (no, I'm not bashful, I tell it like it is - after all, THEY started it!).  But when I have a bad hair day, I do a ponytail or a bun, no fuss, no muss, and no bad hair day at all!  That usually shuts them up.
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Curlgirl64
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Re: Why must I continually defend my hair?
Reply #14 - Jan 21st, 2009 at 5:49am
 
You tell 'em! Wink
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