LongLocks HairSticks Boutique

  Welcome, Guest. Please Login
 
  HomeHelpSearchLogin  
 

LongLocks Boutique
Home
Hair Jewelry Catalog
How to Use Hair Sticks
Susan's Closet
LongLocks Collectors Club
Index of Hair Care Articles
Testimonials
Free Newsletter


L'Etoile Perdue by William Bouguereau







Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 57
Send Topic Print
The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl (Read 367704 times)
joeydog 1992
Ex Member


Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #45 - Jul 22nd, 2007 at 2:20pm
 
Cry.  So sad.  Poor Curly.  I believe the saying is (and I heard it a lot as a kid) "Do as I say, not as I do".

JD
Back to top
 
 
IP Logged
 
Angel Spun
Ex Member


Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #46 - Jul 22nd, 2007 at 3:33pm
 
Quote:
I think that was one of the reasons why I decided not to have children.  I will not allow something that I hate to be allowed to be passed down to my kids.  They see and absorb so much,I didn't want that ugly thinking to be passed down to them.  My thoughts are, if you don't like something,change it or don't partake in it.  I don't want that way of thinking to continue so she can't instill it in my children if I don't have any to instill it in.

That's a huge part of why I decided not to have children either. *hugs* Try not to let her get to you, Curlgirl. You'll manage just fine on your own.
Back to top
 
 
IP Logged
 
joeydog 1992
Ex Member


Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #47 - Jul 22nd, 2007 at 3:44pm
 
Angel, I will be interested to see if you feel the same way in 10 years.  You have not heard the biological clock yet...and believe me...it can get pretty loud and demanding!!!!

JD
Back to top
 
 
IP Logged
 
Curlgirl64
Stardust
******
Offline


Practice Yoga,give and
receive Reiki

Posts: 2974
Brooklyn,N.Y.
Gender: female
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #48 - Jul 22nd, 2007 at 4:25pm
 
group hug,girls!!!  Thanks,I'll be ok as long as I keep my emotions in check and do what I feel is right for me!
Back to top
 

Curlgirl64
Head Board Moderator
LongLocks HairSticks Boutique
http://www.longlocks.com
...
WWW Curlgirl64  
IP Logged
 
Arcadian
Sapphire
***
Offline



Posts: 155
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #49 - Jul 22nd, 2007 at 4:54pm
 
Curlgirl64 wrote on Jul 22nd, 2007 at 8:15am:
I'm just trying to either accept what's going to happen or trying to figure out what to keep and what to get rid of and it will be because I want to get rid of it and then move into a place of my own.


I really do sympathise with your position Curlgirl64 ! I'm really sorry but it comes across as utterly unfair, cruel, selfish and hopelessly one-sided.

I don't know if my example is going to be of any help but it's worth a try. Although male and an only kid, I had very similar problems with my hateful dictatorial mother too. A permanent contest of wills from about 8 to 18 or so, however I knew that one day I would have the final say !

And when it finally did arrive I got a lot of (very satisfying !) mileage from about aged 35 onwards when visiting her ( as rarely as possible !) by deliberately denying her the things I knew she wanted. Attention for one plus other things I knew always irritated her, because the moment I got any lip (revenge was sweet !) I would say some or all of the following before I got up and walked out the door.... It almost became routine !!

"Look you can't have it both ways either you're a mother full time or not. You've had years to make up your mind. Being a mother is not a question of when it suits you or on the days you happen to feel like it, so don't expect any sympathy from me when you can't get around any more. You made your bed so go lie on it."  Door slammed really hard !! Then nothing for a good few months thank goodness as it always took me ages and ages to simmer down !

In other words forcing in her case to face up to her old age which she kept pushing aside and I think denying to herself would ever happen. She always ignored what I said for a long time but I knew the moment when it started to bite as she suddenly became for the first time ever a little whiney and looking for sympathy, which she never got because her underlying self-centred brick wall attitude never changed. Yet all she had to do at any time was break down and apologise genuinely etc. and we'd have been inseparable.  They always say that kids can tell when an adult is not being trustworthy and open and in my case it was true. Despite it being years and years later.... You just do not forget.

Yet she never did break down and became a lonely miserable old woman, especially when father died as she then had no-one to boss around any more. So our whole family lost....sadly.

Definitely not a nice thing to have to relate in public I know but at least I'd found my mental freedom. And that's what counted.
Back to top
 
 
IP Logged
 
joeydog 1992
Ex Member


Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #50 - Jul 22nd, 2007 at 5:45pm
 
Ouch Cadie!  You know, I do remember to appreciate both my parents each day...but things like this remind me how much I should appreciate them.   I cannot imagine life without them (although in the not to distant future I will have to) for they are the one and only sure and safe thing in my life as long as they live.  To imagine that day brings me to tears...but to imagine the many who have never known that safety and security.... Cry

JD
Back to top
 
 
IP Logged
 
Godyssey
Stardust
******
Offline



Posts: 2375
Georgia
Gender: female
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #51 - Jul 22nd, 2007 at 7:28pm
 
I was very young when my parents got divorced and my mother was adamant about being a stay at home mother which was a decision that I'm very grateful for.  Anyway, without two incomes, she couldn't afford her own home so she applied for section 8.  Our home was very modest but it was located in a clean, quiet, safe neighborhood so it worked out fine.  Hopefully you can find section 8 housing in a nice area as well.  From what I understand this program often has a waiting list.  Even if in the end you decide to go in another direction, maybe you could look into getting on the list just so that option is available to you.

Have you thought about maybe just cohabitating with the man you're seeing?  I think marriage is a huge step and a whole other issue if you aren't in love, but maybe just living as roomates and splitting the expenses could be beneficial to you both.  It may prove tricky but I think if the two of you are honest with each other going into it so there aren't any expectations, it might be doable. Undecided

Good luck with whatever you decide. Smiley
Back to top
 

Healthy Hair Is My Priority...
 
IP Logged
 
Angel Spun
Ex Member


Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #52 - Jul 22nd, 2007 at 7:36pm
 
Quote:
I'll be ok as long as I keep my emotions in check and do what I feel is right for me!

That's right, sweetie. Don't let anybody else tell you what's right for you...the answers are already there.

Man, we need to start a cantankerous, control freak mothers club here. lol  Grin
Back to top
 
 
IP Logged
 
texian.traveler
Sapphire
***
Offline


LongLocks Rocks!

Posts: 182
Gender: female
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #53 - Jul 23rd, 2007 at 3:28am
 
Arcadian,

For me it is my father.  Right now he is sitting in the locked ward of a nursing home, believing that God is going to restore the eyesight lost due to retinal bleeding from the diabetes he neglected, the rotting stumps of teeth he didn't brush that will have to be cut from his mouth, the money he wasted on get-rich-quick schemes, the wife he neglected who left him to preserve her own sanity (and life, becuase if she had stayed with him she believes she would have killed herself) and the son who got so fed up with his denial of reality that he left him to his illusions.  Those who have successfullly ignored reality for 25 years become VERY good at it.  

I guess what I am trying to say is that sometimes parents NEVER face their circumstances.  When that happens, your priority becomes protecting others, yourself included.  While my father has dementia, he really has enough coherence and self-sufficiency to be in a less restrictive environment.  But I keep him locked up because otherwise he tries to go home, where he drives a motorcycle he can't see, and tries to cook on burners he forgets to turn off.  I can't protect him, because he doesn't care enough to protect himself.  So I protect the child he might hit while on that motorcycle, or the neighbor whose house is endangered when his burns.  

I told him if he would agree to selling his house I would find a less restrictive place.  He would rather sit in that home and cling to those illusions.  
Back to top
 

[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/weight-loss/wS1UoA5/]&&...
 
IP Logged
 
Lisabelle
Stardust
******
Offline


Kami wa onna no inochi
- A womens hair is her
life

Posts: 2797
Southern Ontario, Canada
Gender: female
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #54 - Jul 23rd, 2007 at 4:51am
 
(((((Hugs Curlygirl))))) Oh my lord! I understand as I moved out when I was 19 as my parents demands became unbearable. I had been saving for a year to move out on my own.  My parents had the money in there account and when I asked for the money to do a down payment on a place I found they had gambled away my $2,000 I worked two jobs for at the casino! Angry Angry I then had to move in with my boyfriend at the time ( he nearly killed me, but that's another story)  Your parents sound like mine were and I really feel for you. Hang in there love!...
Back to top
 
Lisabelle  
IP Logged
 
Curlgirl64
Stardust
******
Offline


Practice Yoga,give and
receive Reiki

Posts: 2974
Brooklyn,N.Y.
Gender: female
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #55 - Jul 23rd, 2007 at 1:21pm
 
Thank you all!!  I'm hanging in there!!  Section 8 is totally foreign to me because I grew up in the suberbs in a very nice home,fireplace,pool,own bedroom,get the pic????  When my parents got divorced when I was12 or 13,we(Mom,sister,brother and me) moved back to my mother's parents house in the city.  Very different life,crowded,noisier,worse school system,just very very different.  So this section 8 thing is morethan shell shock if I go with it and will require lots of research and homework.  Nothing I would shy away from!  It is different when you work and make less money than when you're in my boat and disabled and only get a certain amount on SSDI.  Doesn't stop me though from looking outside the box and try to do something other than sit and do nothing but collect a check.  I can't stand that when people do that! Angry  So all in all I'll hang in!
Funny though,my mom stayed at home when my sister and I were little in the 60's because she was married and you tried to stay at home and raise your family.  My brother was raised by my grandparents because he was 2 when my parents were getting ready for divorce.  If he could have been raised by anyone,I'd pick those 2!!  Nothing could be finer than the morals,ethics and the way to treat people that those grandparents instilled in all three of us.  I don't know what happened when they raised her with some of her totally ridiculous ways!!!  I think my grandmother dropped her on her head a few times! Tongue Roll Eyes
Anyway,it's just a time for a challenge and see what I can do!
Back to top
 

Curlgirl64
Head Board Moderator
LongLocks HairSticks Boutique
http://www.longlocks.com
...
WWW Curlgirl64  
IP Logged
 
bikerbraid
Shooting Star
*******
Offline


Life is short, Break the
rules

Posts: 6569
Bike Paths of the Midwest
Gender: female
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #56 - Jul 23rd, 2007 at 2:43pm
 
Government programs are typically nightmares - as I am sure you already know.  SSDI is no easy program to get onto!  But Section 8 is out there to help people like you, so it should be worth a little investigation.  The idea is to provide affordable housing to people with fixed or limited income.  I wish I knew more about it to help you out more - I worked in the vocational areas and did not have to deal with the housing issues of my clients (but I certainly knew they were dealing with challenges!).  I would think that with your physical limitations, you might be on a different list (with better priorities) than those who are just welfare recipients that might qualify.  Naturally, you would want to make sure the housing is appropriately accessible for a wheelchair.
Back to top
 

bikerbraid
Global Salon Moderator
LongLocks HairSticks Boutique
http://www.longlocks.com
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.&&Life may not
WWW Bikerbraid  
IP Logged
 
Curlgirl64
Stardust
******
Offline


Practice Yoga,give and
receive Reiki

Posts: 2974
Brooklyn,N.Y.
Gender: female
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #57 - Jul 24th, 2007 at 1:36am
 
Thank you,BB!  Yes I think wheelchair accessible is something to think about down the road.  I may always use a cane and occasionally a scooter,but you never know what the future holds!!!  It's a shame that alot of section 8 is typically in bad neighborhoods or poorly equipted buildings.  I might have better luck looking for section 8 that is in a private home.  People do have 2 or 3 family homes and rent out their apts to section 8 because they get a subsidy from the government to do so.    Just another option,thank god,to put on the list to think about!!!!
Back to top
 

Curlgirl64
Head Board Moderator
LongLocks HairSticks Boutique
http://www.longlocks.com
...
WWW Curlgirl64  
IP Logged
 
Curlgirl64
Stardust
******
Offline


Practice Yoga,give and
receive Reiki

Posts: 2974
Brooklyn,N.Y.
Gender: female
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #58 - Jul 27th, 2007 at 8:20am
 
Went to Linens  and Things yesterday with my mother.  Why I don't know,I can't buy anything;not that I need anything,but what's the point????  Anyway,it was good to get outside and relax!  I'm starting to see a decline in their quality of merchandise.  The bath towels looked like something the "cat dragged in"!  Maybe Bed,Bath and Beyond is farring much better.
Went for a manicure and pedicure yesterday.  Always nice to pamper yourself when you can.  I usually do my own french manicure and it comes out quite well,but yesterday I just wanted someone else to do a mani and pedi for me.
Today maybe I'll do some more laundry.  Did a superlarge load yesterday. Sheets and towels today??  Supposed to rain today,Sat., and Sun.  Oh well:(  I don't have the pup until Sat.4pm so I'll take advantage of the downtime Wink
Hair today is in a braid.  It's humid,I can't be bothered fussing!  Yesterday was a bun with ketylo sticks.  Humid also,but sunny,too so I need to get my hair up and feel cooler.
It worked.
Off to breakfast now!  Birds are still sleeping,thank God!!  I did my Pilates early this morning,showered,dressed and ready for coffee with soymilk,juice,oatmeal with cinnamon and craisins!!! Grin
Back to top
 

Curlgirl64
Head Board Moderator
LongLocks HairSticks Boutique
http://www.longlocks.com
...
WWW Curlgirl64  
IP Logged
 
Trisha
Stardust
******
Offline



Posts: 2318
Missouri
Gender: female
Re: The Twists and Curls of a Curlgirl
Reply #59 - Jul 27th, 2007 at 10:22am
 
The good thing about the situation with your mother and the move is you have plenty of time to consider alternatives and find a logical solution.

(that sounds a little Vuncanish, even to my ears!)   Smiley
Back to top
 
pjsander  
IP Logged
 
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6 ... 57
Send Topic Print