I'm not gonna give you the answer you want to hear :/

The only way to lighten very dark hair is to double process it, and that is *extremely* hard on your hair.  Unless your hair is kept very short, you can almost guarantee that it will be breaking off in the near future if you go this route.

I'm all for self-expression especially by the way of hairstyles, but not at the expense of destroying your hair, so I'm gonna side with your P's on this one.

If your hair is long, how 'bout adding some bleached out extensions?