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ollave

Amethyst

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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!

Posts: 46
Gender: female

Poetry Anyone? Or Mine?
Nov 22^nd, 2005 at 4:20am

First,
before anyone reads this, let me say that I only write words which strike me...At times I've thought these words might be something, but I've grown to know better. I share now in hopes of constructive critiques.
(And preface this by saying that art is not a mirror of life, but life may be a mirror there of…)

If you loved me

It has been silently.
Though Newton said silence was truth.

I have not been so silent in my love,
No, nor in my condemnation of you.

In the end
What’s been written of does not matter;

For we’ve had nights drunk on champagne,

And long suns of sorrow.

Everything in between.
Anything any poet could imagine,

And then some.
It’s been some years that I’ve heard from you,

Yet not a day or a night has gone by

Without you.
Sometimes I felt as though I were Socrates

On trial,
Drinking my draught accordingly:

Smiling.
Plato, that you are,

Should you not add words

That my mouth never formed, should you
Adhere a life to me I did not live?

Though you do, the life repelled,
Unacknowledged, like poetry—

Such as yours or mine,
Lit by the flame of a simple candle?

Of course the end is weak, and I'd love suggestions.)

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Curlygirl22 Diamond Offline Posts: 606 Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #1 - Nov 22^nd, 2005 at 9:04am i like your poem 8). i would love to here more in the future, and poems about hair!
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Moonchild Diamond Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 525 Germany Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #2 - Nov 22^nd, 2005 at 9:54am I like that. Can't give you any suggestions ......... Why do you think the end is weak?
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ollave Amethyst Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 46 Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #3 - Nov 22^nd, 2005 at 3:03pm Thank you! I’m just not sure about the ending, but then I usually only write during fits of insomnia. I have written about hair in the past, when mine was longer…
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juri Stardust Offline Posts: 1341 USA Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #4 - Nov 22^nd, 2005 at 6:35pm I liked it and I don't think the ending was weak.
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PreciousLocks Diamond Offline Turning my gold to silver one hair at a time Posts: 812 Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #5 - Nov 24^th, 2005 at 12:15am Thanks for sharing that poem with us. I'm not a poet. But I like.
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khrome Stardust Offline 1bM/Ciii Posts: 1035 santa barbara, ca Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #6 - Nov 25^th, 2005 at 1:40am Very nice - thanks for sharing. Cynde
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maggie

Diamond

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Posts: 799
Gender: female

Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine?
Reply #7 - Nov 28^th, 2005 at 2:31pm

Ollave, your poem is wonderful, and there is NOTHING weak about it. That's the thing about poetry, it's something you write when you feel inspired, whether it be with love, joy, sadness or anger, it's something inside of you that needs to come out and live on paper. The words don't always make perfect sense like a story would, but they make perfect sense to your emotions at the time. I have found myself writing poetry to relieve myself when I feel extreme anger or sadness lately. When I was younger I would usually opt for the paint brush or pencils, but now I find great solace in words. By the time I am done scribbling I feel such an amazing sense of relief...it doesn't fix the problems, of course, but it does help me to deal with my emotions in a responsible way. I had this paragraph in my message line for a bit, it was something that reflected how I was feeling neglected at the time:

My silent screams you never hear
Resonating deep within my soul
Painful vibrations ring from ear to ear
Tearing apart what once made me whole.

I will add on to it eventually...when the mood strikes, and hopefully that won't be too soon! I'd love to read some more of your poems, ollave, please feel free to post them!

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ollave

Amethyst

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I love YaBB 1G - SP1!

Posts: 46
Gender: female

Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine?
Reply #8 - Nov 28^th, 2005 at 3:29pm

It’s very sweet of everyone to be so kind to my poem, thank you.

Maggie: I understand what you mean, I too use writing as an emotional outlet. And like you, used to do visual art. It’s been a while. But I have found creativity to be a must for internal wellbeing, no matter what the medium. Thank you for sharing your poem as well—I’ve certainly had those moments also. Here's to leaving them far behind!

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Lisabelle Stardust Offline Kami wa onna no inochi - A womens hair is her life Posts: 2797 Southern Ontario, Canada Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #9 - Nov 29^th, 2005 at 1:30am Nice poems! (I wonder if I have the nerve to post some of mine?)
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ollave Amethyst Offline I love YaBB 1G - SP1! Posts: 46 Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #10 - Nov 29^th, 2005 at 7:10pm Thank you. I'd love to read some of your poetry Lisabelle!
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Lisabelle

Stardust

Offline

Kami wa onna no inochi
- A womens hair is her
life

Posts: 2797
Southern Ontario, Canada
Gender: female

Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine?
Reply #11 - Nov 29^th, 2005 at 9:02pm

Ollava Here's a gothic peice I wrote a long time ago. Sorry if its weird. Undecided

A LONLEY PLACE

Headstones cover the ground
Flowers from an old funeral
Lye rotting on the soil
Bones and caskets lye uncovered
The earth washed away with time
A skull peaking through a crop of weeds
Old, old cemetery
No one tends it anymore
Over grown trees
Unclipped bushes
The crypt is open
Birds nest in its eves.

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juri Stardust Offline Posts: 1341 USA Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #12 - Nov 29^th, 2005 at 11:12pm Maggie--I liked that poem and I could feel the emotion behind it. Lisabelle--I didn't think it was weird and I liked the imagery.
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Lisabelle Stardust Offline Kami wa onna no inochi - A womens hair is her life Posts: 2797 Southern Ontario, Canada Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #13 - Nov 29^th, 2005 at 11:53pm Thanks Juri! I was a little worried at first.
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juri Stardust Offline Posts: 1341 USA Gender:	Re: Poetry Anyone? Or Mine? Reply #14 - Nov 30^th, 2005 at 12:03am You're welcome, Lisabelle. Despite my Hufflepuff-ness, I like the macabre. hehehe
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