Oh boy, she sounds like a barrel of fun. Not. I don't have any advice, but I'm sorry that you and your family have to put up with such a off-putting person. I feel bad for her kids; it must be terrible to have a mother like that....Since she is family, I think it would be rather hard to avoid having her in your life. 

Hang in there! (((hug)))

thanks for the hugs juri! i needed it.

thanks lisabelle ,


boy do i need those hugs!  i dont think she will get help, she is tooooooo stubborn.

In-laws - you don't get to pick them, they come as part of the "package".  It is apparent her priorities and yours  are not the same.  You can't change her and she can't change you.  The best thing is to just accept her for who she is and try to keep your contacts short and in environments that you can both handle.

Sounds as if she might like to meet my evil roomate. 

Point 1: Have you talked to your brother about her behaviour? Obviously, he married her for a reason. But the fact that her misconduct towards his family continues is a sign that he either turns the other cheek or feels helpless to do anything about it. You might suggest that they seek family counseling.

Point 2: It's not for you to make up excuses for her. If the way she acts towards you and your children offends you, it's best to just avoid her. You are the one who decides what you will or will not subject yourself and your children to.

Point 3: You are right that you can't change her and it is your choice to be around her or not. But you're wrong to say that you "don't care" and that "it doesn't bother" you. Obviously it does, or you would not have posted this.

Point 4: It's unfortunate that people like this even exist in the first place...but they do. I mean the sort of negative, self-absorbed people whom it seems that no one on earth can stand. The best thing to do is stay away and not let her ruin anymore of your family gatherings. If your brother starts asking why you never show up at his house anymore, be polite but direct in your explanation. This might just compel him to do something about it. Otherwise, if seeing this "lady" is completely unavoidable, at least try to remain polite. You don't have to act friendly toward her, but don't act rude to her either. That's just lowering yourself to her level.

Point 5: The holidays can be very stressful, but I'd say that she's abusing the privilege. Forgiveness only goes so far. As a former co-worker once said to me, "You can have a big heart, but there comes a point when you're just stupid." Meaning generosity & politeness are one thing, being taken advantage of is another.

Point 6: Just be strong & hang in there, whatever your decision. God wouldn't give you a challenge that you were incapable of facing.   

My apologies if I misunderstood the relationship of this woman as being your brother's wife. If she is your husband's evil sister, then well...just try to avoid her and explain to your husband why you feel it's best. Hope it helps even a little! 

I have members on her side that are just plain criminals. They aren't necessarily mean to me, but I feel one should work for a living and not be a con-artist.

I finally had to tell my dear lady that when she goes to see these certain relatives, I will no longer go with her. I'm glad that I don't have said Sister-in-law attitudes at least!

A lot of these super rich people are just out of touch and self centered. You won't change her. I'd quit going over there but don't stop your husband from seeing his sister.

Actually, I like having Thanksgiving at my place. I look forward to it every year!

Indeed. Those poor kids. Pray for them. 

Hope things improve on the homefront for both you and your best friend.