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My long days may be over...and i'm really sad. (Read 12362 times)
robe0488
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My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Nov 9th, 2007 at 12:43am
 
Hello-

My whole life I have had just plain bad hair. It's one of the curses of my existence. My hair is fine, delicate, not curly or straight, strangely wavy and frizzy and never seems to ever have a style. I have spent the last year growing it out and it has finally reached nipple length, but it is so damaged (because I used to bleach it) that it is absolutely unbearable. I can't do anything but wear it in a wet ponytail every single day. It is so tangled and breaking and basically dead. I have been told by stylists that there is nothing for me to do but chop about 5-6 inches of it off. I am really frustrated and sad, I feel like I just wasted and entire YEAR!!!!! growing it out, only to have to cut it all off. I don't see how fine thin unresposive hair with no definitive texture can be attractive in a shorter style. I don't know what to do with it. How do cut it? How much to cut off? Any ideas out there? Any inspiration? I'm mourning the loss of my hair.

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Sakina
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #1 - Nov 9th, 2007 at 12:56am
 
I'm sorry you're sad.  It is always a tough decision to cut-damage cannot be repaired.  Since this is making you so sad, perhaps you could take an inch or two off at at time until the damage is gone.  Start taking care of your hair with regular deep conditioning treatments.  When you shampoo your hair, apply conditioner from the ears down to protect the length from drying out and getting more damaged.  After you rinse, apply more conditioner and after you rinse that out you might want to use a leave-in to keep the moisture levels high.  If you don't have a leave in, try a drop or two of oil instead.

Good Luck!!
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juri
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #2 - Nov 9th, 2007 at 2:59am
 
Welcome to LL, Robe0488!

I think Sakina's suggestions are really good. Right now your hair needs TLC and hopefully those suggestions will help a lot. I wouldn't do a big chop like those stylists suggested. Just trimming a little at a time would be good since you'll still have the majority of the length you worked for while the new, undamaged hair grows in. If you don't have a stylist you can trust with small trims, you can trim your own hair (or someone you trust can do it for you). Feye's self-trimming instructions is helpful. I've done it a few times and like the results.

Good luck! (((hugs)))
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bikerbraid
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #3 - Nov 9th, 2007 at 12:53pm
 
oh how frustrating for you!  Cry 

Sakina and Juri's suggestions are good ones.  The best thing you can do right now is try to take care of the hair you have and prevent further damage.  Unfortunately the bleached hair is probably going to have to be cut off eventually.  If it is breaking off now, adding moisture (conditioners and/or oils) will help retard the breakage and allow you more time to grow in healthy hair.

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you.
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #4 - Nov 9th, 2007 at 4:19pm
 
I agree with all of the suggestions above. I just wanted to offer you a supportive *hug*  Smiley 

Your hair will be long again in time if you want it to be. It will take awhile, I won't lie. But it helps to think of it as a journey and not a destination. Almost everyone here is on a journey toward longer hair...this is the beginning of yours. And I'm glad that you chose all of us to be part of it.
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Valerie
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #5 - Nov 10th, 2007 at 9:26am
 
I started at the same place you are at now.  Same hair frustrations, and badly bleach damaged ends.  I too was not willing to do the big chop for quite a while.  What I did was deep conditioning treatments of olive oil, honey, and egg--mixed together then slathered on my hair for at least a half hour, sometimes longer then rinsed out.  It brought back shine and moisture to my hair that got me through the worst of growing out those ends.  I eventually did cut about 10 inches off (in about 3 separate trims), but not until the very ends were at tailbone, and I was left with waist length hair still.  In retrospect I probably would have done the cut at the beginning and started treating my hair nice from the start, but I just couldn't at the time and this worked out well for me.

My hair isn't fine, so you'll want to experiment with different kinds of deep conditioners to find the one that is right for you.  I think my mixture could get a little heavy for your hair.  (If you use egg, make sure to rinse in cold water).  I don't use that conditioning treatment very often anymore because my hair isn't nearly as damaged and it can be too heavy for mine now too.

Good luck!  Let us know what you decide to do.
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #6 - Nov 10th, 2007 at 11:13am
 
Hi  Robe0488, nice to meet you!  I know the fustration your going through...  When I joined I was growing out a dye job and had to cut off alot.  Cheer up, it will grow back! Smiley
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #7 - Nov 15th, 2007 at 11:03am
 
The others have given good advice- my hair is also very fine and delicate. I found that with gentle care and handling, I actually had waves and even a stray ringlet.
I though my hair was not curly or straight, either, but I brought our my natural waves with very gentle handling.
I wouldn't cut off 5-6 inches yet, I would just trim off maybe 1/2" at a time and start taking good care of your hair and you may fine that you can continue to grow your hair.
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #8 - Feb 18th, 2008 at 2:41pm
 
Hi Babyfine,
The very first post I ever read on this website was one of yours.  It was asking if fine, thinnish hair could ever be long.  The answers to that were so inspiring to me and you are, too.  I had bleach damaged ends and cut off about 6" about 2 years ago and I still regret it.  I wish I had worked with it more instead.  Actually, all hair is "dead"; it's just in varying states of condition.  Split ends can be dealt with with search and destroy trims so my advice would be to not cut, just S&D and condition and oil.  Good luck to you!  I truly believe you can have beautiful long hair.  You've been an inspiration to me.  Don't give up!
sf
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #9 - Apr 15th, 2008 at 10:13am
 
I am too going through the same urge to cut; I still have a little bleached ends left from long ago.  I keep changing my shampoo and conditioner and am trying to find some good way to put my hair up-I have chin-length growing out bangs so it is hard.  Fine hair is sometimes tangley and yet slippery.  Whatever you decide, know that we are all here for you.  And you can have long, beautiful hair!  It is a journey, sometimes a long one  (no pun intended).  I agree with all the advice given above.  This will probably horrify some but I use Prell shampoo and Biolage Conditioning Balm both before and after shampoo.  I coat the hair with the conditioner, leave it in, then shampoo over it, then apply the conditioner again leaving some of the conditioner on the ends or on the hair below the ears down.  I find that I get a lot of body this way and the Prell rinses easily and lathers well removing any oil.  Then I oil the ends with just a drop or two of jojoba oil, usually on dry hair but sometimes on the wet ends also.  Hang in there.  It will get better.  And hairstylists generally love to cut.  I know; I used to be one.
Good luck and God Bless,
SF
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #10 - Apr 19th, 2008 at 6:48pm
 
Hi Strawberryfine- Thank you for your kind words! I just now saw this post! I think your hair in your avatar is beautiful!
I did manage to grow my hair to about 1" past BSL but I think the old damage from the bleach ect was to much for my delicate hair-the ends looked kinda see through. I had also colored over it a brunette demi -perm.
This July 31st I had it cut a one blunt bob back to a little shorter than your avatar.
On the one hand-it evened up the growing out bangs/fringe and I truly had all one length hair for the first time since I was about 15-but I too regreted the cut as you did.. Happily, it's grown several inches since then so it's now several inches past my shoulders.
The only problem is I have still colored twice at the salon with a gentle demi perm(Redkens Shades) because I'm just not ready to embrace those greys and I'm on the fence about henna- there are so many benefits but it's permanent and I don't have time to do it really.
I haven't colored Since Dec 3rd and my few greys are really showing in front-don't know what to do.
My hair stays healthier the less I color.
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SIM SIM
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #11 - Aug 6th, 2008 at 5:45am
 
i would not wanna cut it either *hug*
now i am trying 2 grow out mine.
my hair is about 20" but i want it longer. its not that thick either and gets frizy. it is naturaly wavy. does anyone have any advise how 2 make it healthier???
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #12 - Aug 6th, 2008 at 8:59am
 
Healthy hair takes time and patience.  Read the Ultimate Guide to Growing long Hair and you will find many excellent suggestions for growing healthy hair.

Good luck on your journey!
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #13 - Aug 6th, 2008 at 7:45pm
 
hello robe0488,

I didn't think I could have long hair because my hair is fine and kind of stringy, but now it looks great and i am getting compliments on it every day!

I decided to cut off all my dyed and bleached hair--opted for this instead of little trims every month.  I had it cut in a cute razor-cut crop and then conditioned my hair like cray while growing it out.

All those layers grew into a style that looks thick when really it's not at all!  I trim only the ends that are split--myself--I don't trust salons any more due to several horrifying experiences with dye and bleach--and I looked older instead of younger--IMHO.

I never use a hair dryer.  I use no styling appliances.  I shampoo and condition with Pantene every other day.  It took me 2 years to get it mid-back length and now another year later--I consider it long--the very back tip can touch my waist.

I prefered to cut it all off and suffer being a short-haired gal, and i consider it well worth it because I stayed completely out of salons for 3 years!  It has saved me a lot of money, although I spend a bit more on conditioners and barrettes, hairbands, while it was growing out and now.

When it was so short, I made sure to really play up my eyes with lots of cool eye shadows, eye liner, and mascaras.

Good luck to you--hang in there--you and your locks are well worth the wait.

Tinselhair
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Re: My long days may be over...and i'm really sad.
Reply #14 - Aug 6th, 2008 at 10:06pm
 
I agree with not cutting all the damage off at once, I know that would help me feel better if I was in your situation. In the end just think of how healthy and beautiful your hair will look when all the damaged parts are finally gone.
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