Jojoba oil -- This is the only oil I can use on my ends without everything feeling all greasy and yucky.  Every night I put one drop on my hands, rub them together (heating up the oil) and work the oil into the last 3-4 inches of hair.  This helps to keep my ends feeling good.  When I had dry patches (bangs growing out got dry, for some reason), I worked the oil into those areas as well.  Next, brush with a bristle brush -- I have a boar bristle brush.  This helps distribute the oil more evenly.

Jojoba oil is not cheap, but by using only a drop or so a day means it lasts quite some time.

(Warning: more than a drop or two will make the hair look greasy -- at least in my case).

So that's what I did wrong!  

I used a lot more than 1 or 2 drops and had to wash immediately, but it was soft afterwards. 

I'll try the one drop method!
Thanks!

strawberryfine