Oh gosh... I am fuming right now!! Let's see... where do I begin??

First of all, I hope everyone agrees that whether you choose to wear your hair long or short is your complete decision is it not? I love long hair, and it suits me much better, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it suits others as well.

Well, I have this aunt. Our family used to be a bit skeptical about her because it seemed as if she wanted to marry my uncle just for his money, but we soon learned to accept her, and she fit in quite well. They got married when I was about 6, and my hair was extremely long and gorgeous because my mother took excellent care of it. When this aunt saw my hair, she decided to grow hers too, and did. Her hair is dead straight but she perms it  because it's very flat. Anyway she has four children and one of them is an 8 year old with whom I am very close. When she was young her hair grew out long because she wanted to be like me, but then we got it cut to a shoulder length bob and it looked just fabulous on her!

Recently, she has grown her hair out again. We thought it was just because she wanted to be like me again, but we (my mother and I) didn't like it because it kind of dragged her face down. But anyway, we didn't say anything to her of course, because if she wanted it long, let her have it long! Her mother, though, came up to us and said that she tried to cut her daughter's hair but her daughter wouldn't let her.

Well, tonight, her daughter came down to visit me. I showed her a picture that I had found of her when her hair was at shoulder length and she loved it! So I told her to ask her mother if she could get her hair cut like that again. I went to her house with her to tell her mother what she wanted, and her mother said that she took the child for a "trim" which the kid hated! You know why she hated it? She wanted it SHORT and her mother cut off half an inch! She was so frustrated, this little 8 year old, that she cut 3 inches off one side by herself! When her mother told me this I was shocked and asked her why she doesn't just simply cut her daughter's hair! But she was in a hurry and left, and do you know what the child said to me?

"I ask her so many times to cut my hair because I feel ugly like this, but she wants it long like hers! And I hate my hair long, I wish she would just listen to me sometimes!"

Isn't that terrible? I feel so sorry for the poor child, because I know how it feels to feel ugly because of your hair! I thought of taking her myself to get her hair cut  but I can't really do something against her mother's wishes now can I. Do you know what the worst part is, though? The mother lied to me. She said that she tried to get her daughter to cut her hair and that her daughter refused and that is just a downright LIE!!!

Sorry but I feel that it's a great hair unjustice, because like E mentioned in another one of her posts, your hair can be a big part of how you feel. *sigh* Well I guess she will just have to live with her long, thin hair until she's old enough to make her own decisions  .

I am always amazed at the fact that our own hair becomes part of other peoples agendas...I was always luck to have a mom that would listen to me about how I wanted my hair...I was usually my oun worst enemy when it came to my hair.

I guess once our hair gets to a certain length people look at it as if it is public property because it is "different"....at least once a week I encounter a person who wants to feel it or asks why don't I cut it or some other intrusion into MY hair.....Complements I love but the rest of it can go..........

I was at my class reunion a few years ago and I had a woman walk up to me and ask it my hair was real...she had never seen hair that long (at the time it was just past my waist) I guess for some people our long hair is like a side show act....

All I know is that every one is entitled to their opinion and that is fine but they are not going to impose it on my hair..........

I have a young neighbor girl with long hair whose mother has no idea how to style it.  I have purchased some inexpensive chop sticks and plastic swizzle sticks (I know it sounds wierd, but there are some really cute ones out there!) to use for putting the hair up in a bun.  There are also those fake hair scruncies that are very cute when wrapped around a bun.  Braids with bright hair friendly ties on the ends can also be fun. 

Good luck in your new mentoring role.

Leia,

maybe you should try some simple styles on the young " long-hair" first to make sure she is comfortable.  Begining with a pony tail might allow her to get used to "playing" with her hair.  Then move on to some more involved styles.  Let us know how it goes, would you?   

By the way, what part of the world are you from???

First I will teach her how to wash her hair properly, also not to wash it every day as she does. Then how to brush it and also to comb it out gently while it's wet. I think she can already make a ponytail  ???, well I will ask her to demonstrate and see how well she does it. I have a "hair book" and I'll show that to her to see if she wants to learn anything from it.

I'm from south Asia, in a little country called Bangladesh (near India). In this country the middle class is extremely small and so the population is divided up into very poor, very rich, and the few that are left are in between. The females who can work either get a job in a rich household or go to the garment factory; recently the education system has been improving allowing women to get a lot more jobs. Anyway, in this way, a lot of children have their own maids, especially since if they are in the upper class their parent(s) will be working a lot and might not have enough time to take care of them.

My mother stopped working when I was born (she didn't want to take care of my older brothers, they were too much of a handful!) so I never became "attached" to any of my maids as children often do. 

I think after teaching her how to make a ponytail it will be easy for her to twist it and then make a bun. By the way, before hairsticks, how did you make buns? I can twist my hair in a very elaborate way which doesn't need *anything* to hold it up but since I cut my hair I can't seem to remember how to do it. Will have to try again once my hair grows.

Hi Cairn!

The girl (Azreen, who just turned 10) was experiencing a lot of hairloss in the spring. She wanted to get it cut so that it would look fuller, but her mother (of course) didn't let her cut too much. I think she cut it to just below shoulder length.

She has had a lot of new regrowth which is coming in fuzzy, making her hair look huge  . She is tiny, extremely skinny and small boned, so the hair looks really big! Personally I think it doesn't suit her, but SHE is happy and she loves it the way it is, so I'm happy too. I did teach her some new styles, but she can't get braiding down and doesn't like wearing her hair in any style but down. As long as she is happy I'm fine with it 

I just came upon this thread while browsing through...
leia, it's been over a year and a half since you last posted, and I'm curious how your cousin is doing. Did her mother finally let her get it cut, or is it still long? Did you teach her any other hairstyles? 

Inquiring minds want to know