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My first negative reaction (Read 4110 times)

MyAlteredImage

Amethyst

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My first negative reaction
Apr 5^th, 2004 at 3:42am

I haven't shared my long hair goal with too many people other than my co-workers and a couple of other close friends and the people here. So far everyone has been very supportive up until today. But today I told my younger sister, who has getting along for mid-back length hair herself, and she was totally against me going for it. She couldn't relate to my reasons for wanting to grow my hair, nor respect the fact that it was my personal choice. We ended up having quite a big argument and I am feeling bad now that this happened.

Have anyone of you had close friends or family who did not approve of you growing your hair long and how did you deal with them.

Thanks

M

Hair brings one's self-image into focus; it is vanity's proving ground. Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices. &&&&Author: Shana Alexander

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flaming bunny

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magical forest in England
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Re: My first negative reaction
Reply #1 - Apr 5^th, 2004 at 1:36pm

sorry to hear about your arguement...that sucks Embarrassed

no one's reacted that strongly when told about my hair goals, but a lot of my friends make 'the face' when i tell them about wanting to be able to sit on my hair. 'the face' looks like the one people have when smelling or tasting something reeeeally bad. i find it quite hurtful but at the end of the day its MY hair and im really proud of it. i do, however, get fed up with the "but wont it get really annoying" remarks.
i just tell anyone who reacts negatively to my long hair and plans for it that i enjoy having long hair and DO NOT find it a hassle, then i move the conversation elsewhere so it doesnt continue.

**really sorry if this is babble....the stuff that happens to me is difficult to describe**

p.s. i hope things get better with your sister...and try not to feel too bad.

My hair is:&&Golden Brown&&44" ~ thigh length&&Fine, but fairly thick&&my goal is knee length&&

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bikerbraid

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Re: My first negative reaction
Reply #2 - Apr 5^th, 2004 at 1:43pm

I never had a negative reaction from anyone other than my mother. But then, I have not told many people that I am intentionally growing my hair. I think most of my friends just think I don't bother to get it cut! Cheesy

Which is how I started my long hair journey - laziness.

You will get some negative reactions and you will learn to just let them slide. You just have to tell yourself, that it is your hair and you can do what you want with it.

bikerbraid
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LongLocks HairSticks Boutique
http://www.longlocks.com
Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.&&Life may not

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Anne-Marie

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Re: My first negative reaction
Reply #3 - Apr 5^th, 2004 at 2:49pm

I agree with bikerbraid-not specifically telling people that you want to grow out your hair is a good idea!
I personally mind a lot if people comment negatively on my hair,so that's a good way to avoid this.My mother is also not too fond of long hair,but apart from the occasional remark''how nice I would look with a perm to give me more volume'' Grin

,she just lets it pass.
The only one who loves to make snide remarks about my hair in front of all the family is my *beloved* sister in law.(She made a nice comment about ''mutton dressed as lamb'' ,very charming)
Well,I normally pretend I haven't heard and that drives her crazy Angry

These remarks can be very frustrating,but I have also had some very positive reactions from strangers,so there's a certain balance Wink

An older lady I know only from sight (she's about 68 or so) approached me just the other day and told me she wants to grow her short perm out,because she had been watching me every day and liked my updos so much she wants to be able to do that too with her hair!
I have to say I was really touched,it was the nicest compliment ever

50'', very fine but lots of it, Paula's Choice Shampoo,Real Purity Chamomile Shampoo,Matrix Biolage Conditioning Balm,Alchemy Macadamia & Wheat Conditioner,Sante Henna Shampoo

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MyAlteredImage

Amethyst

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Re: My first negative reaction
Reply #4 - Apr 6^th, 2004 at 6:48am

Thanks flaming_bunny, bikerbraid, Anne-Marie - I appreciate your comments and suggestions. I guess the lesson to be learnt for me is to not over-emphasize my goal, just to get on and do it. And deal with any negative comments as they come along rather than invite them from the outside.

I felt a bit down still this morning (and while I won't say I was giving up already, I was questioning whether I really should stick with this goal or not), but I read your comments before I went in for my Aveda salon experience later this afternoon - your comments really helped me and pepped me up. And reminded me that this is MY goal, not about my sister or anyone else that wants to control me and make me conform to their thinking.

Thanks

M

Hair brings one's self-image into focus; it is vanity's proving ground. Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices. &&&&Author: Shana Alexander

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bikerbraid

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Re: My first negative reaction
Reply #5 - Apr 6^th, 2004 at 2:00pm

Quote:

IAn older lady I know only from sight (she's about 68 or so) approached me just the other day and told me she wants to grow her short perm out,because she had been watching me every day and liked my updos so much she wants to be able to do that too with her hair!
I have to say I was really touched,it was the nicest compliment ever

I have had several women and one man that I know casually tell me they decided to grow out their shorter styles after seeing me with my long hair (all were younger than me, but felt that they were too old for long hair). Those kind of comments just make my day (week, month, ...). They have taught me to march to my own drum and as in a band, soon the others will be marching to my beat.

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