We've been having pretty in-depth conversations about our relationship in the past few days. K's work has taken him away until late on Sunday, so it's like the calm at the eye of the storm. Not that I don't enjoy talking things through with him , but there wasn't a better analogy. We're really comfortable about such things.

Here's an abbreviated form of 'review' on whether we line up.
We're both committed and supportive personality types, we have been enjoying meaningful conversations for close to 4 years, we have the same level of need when it comes to love/affection/emotional closeness, very similar personalities, and we have good argument style. I don't recall any resolved or unresolved conflict that has left emotional scarring. I was reminded of our compatibility and openness the other night when he called me and said, "You're the perfect woman for me", "The way we communicate is phenomenal" and yet we were comfortable enough to admit that we were scared to move on, we have a lot to work out (the biggest of which is acceptance issues pertaining to a interracial relationship). At this point, we've only had minor disagreement on values.

In the end, we really really love each other so this will be worth it. All in all, we probably have a 80-90% chance survival rate. The 10-20% includes whether we spend enough time together as we'd like, intercultural pressures, and family approval (the toughest of all things).

HOLY COW!  How scarry!  I get nervous when I flambe something on purpose, I'm glad you and your hair are fine!!

My husband is Indonesian, and I'm obviously (from my pictures) caucasian.  I'm very fortunate that my parents were not concerned that he's from another culture (I don't consider him from another "race" he is human same as me) just as long as he treats me right and is a good human being which he does and is.  I had a bit of trouble when first meeting his parents-they're Chinese Indonesian (which means that his family is originally from China, moved to Indonesia long ago but he thinks one of his grandma's (not sure of order-great or not) was at least part native Indonesian.)  Culturally they're more Chinese and his dad and I had very different ideas about behaviour.  Now we're all getting on fine (they're in Indonesia, we're in Arizona) but it was a transition as all new relationships are.

Being in a commited relationship is stressful no matter how good of a relationship it is.  I think it would be an added stress to have the parental units not be welcoming to a
spouse.  Truthfully, its their problem and hopefully you will not take it on as yours.  Not everyone gets along even if they're from the same culture.  For example I can hardly stand my B-I-L but I don't think he respects women (including my sister) and he doesn't seem to tolerate stong women (me).  Anywho, I wish you lots of happiness in your friendship, whether it becomes more or not.

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I'm saddened to hear, Moonchild, that your MIL is closed hearted.  Don't we all want to be loved and accepted?  Isn't that IT!?  Well, regardless of her incorrect ideas you and your children are deserving of love and respect as fellow human beings if not for your association w/her son.  I'm glad he's in contact w/his mom.  She is his mom and parents aren't perfect.  I'm not, however saying its ok for her to treat you and your kids that way.  We love you, here at LL!! OXO 

  I agree, best hair *nodding emphatically*   

Ever think about becoming a hair model?

Edit:  I just saw your earlier posts about parents with cultural differences.  I have the same problem with my boyfriend's family.  He's Czech, and his parents really don't like me.  It's always, "Are you still dating the tall blonde?"

It really hurts that they don't accept me completely, but I get the last laugh.  I'm dating their son!

Very nice hair picture! Congrats on a good day.
Good luck on the relationship. I know how hard and complacated (sp?) they can be. I just hope everyone involved makes good decisions. My thoughts are with you.
Meg

Oooooh my! I see a new avatar in the works! 

As I'm working backwards... My goodness and thank the gods you didn't catch yourself on fire! Not only would I have been horrified to discover that you'd been hurt, but if that gorgeous hair had been harmed, that stove would need a good can o' whoop a$$ opened upon it. I'm happy you and the stove came to terms. Whew!

On more serious notes, Anais, relationships are difficult with or without extraneous societal, familial, religious or class distinctions. You are and your beau have grown together over four years (if i recall correctly) and that's a triumph by itself! From your journal, you and he have a very comfortable relationship. I perceive that you two are friends first and foremost, and then BF and GF. That for me spells an excellent start for a continuing long term commitment. Call me sappy or whatever, but when I entertained the idea of a life partner, I wanted her to first and foremost my best friend and my partner. This to me is the key to a long lasting commitment, no matter what struggles come. Besides (and here is where I should take my own medicine), if you don't try how do you know?

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Okay, that's the one I read.

Wow, your hair looks so nice in the latest picture!

And I'm very glad you weren't hurt when you had that, er, incident in the kitchen. YIKES!