Alright. Today's lunch is a baked potato with sour cream, chicken noodle soup, whipped key lime yogurt & whatever else I can get my hands on that's healthy.
    When my boyfriend helped his friends move a few days ago, they gave him all of their leftover food, so our cupboards are overflowing with boxes and cans of everything. I've spent the past 3 days living off of microwaved popcorn so substance is good. 

This morning, I loaded my hair with mayonnaise & left it in for about 4 hours.    I was surprised how much of it was actually absorbed. Guess my hair is thirsty. 

My boyfriend spent all of this morning & part of the afternoon working with his father in Mexico.    Nasty. But it left me with ample time to "play hair."    So I rinsed the mayo out, washed once with Pantene Daily Moisture Renewal shampoo, rinsed, then tucked my hair up under my shower cap to do all of the "other stuff." While this was going on, there was almost no hot water left and the pressure was lower than usual. I ran out of bodywash & hadn't left the bottle upside down so I had to squeeze, spurt and splatter out whatever I could onto the black mesh sponges. I also had to squeeze the bejeezes out of my tube of facewash to get just a small dallop. Clearasil has changed their bottles & it's a bit trickier to get the stuff out now. 
    With all of that out of the way, I then realized that I hadn't gotten my jar of Pantene's Intensive Moisturizing Mask out from under the sink, so I had to step out of the shower into the frigid air to grab it.

Now here I sit with the mask treatment in my hair & all of the little inconveniences behind me...hopefully. My hair did feel a little weird after I rinsed the shampoo out...like maybe I didn't get all of the mayo out or something.    I'll have to wait & see when it dries.

My dear guy came back, but was only in the house for a moment.  ???  I don't know where he went, but I'm not about to go chasing after him in my bathrobe & shower cap. heh My last relationship taught me that no guy is worth chasing around when you're less than fully & decently dressed. Or at all for that matter.

Anyway, it's been awhile since my mention of smelling "ping-pong innards" as bikerbraid so aptly put it, and ever since then, I've felt somewhat compelled to share the story. 

See, a few years back, I used to work late nights in the Production department of Trader Publications (that's right, makers of the Auto Trader & similar mags).
    Well at least one night of the week used to run us especially late, and toward the end, the department was left with a total skeleton crew.
    It was on just such a night that I walked into the breakroom, which was equipped with a foosball table, a pool table and a ping pong table among other things. Ping pong was by far the most popular, and almost every one of the employees from every department played regularly. So it was no surprise for me to see a group of my co-workers playing when I walked in.
    I sat for awhile on one of the breakroom's 2 couches beside the TV and watched them play. One co-worker who was out of the game, sat in one of the chairs in the same area as me, closely examining a broken ping pong ball. They would often crack and develop holes as they were battered around so much.
    Then from out of nowhere, the idle co-worker asked his fellow ping pong players, "Have you guys ever smelled the inside of a ping pong ball?"
    Everyone in the room looked at him like he was nuts. It was a very off-the-wall question.
    One of the players answered, "No. I'm not sure that I'd want to admit that I'd smelled the inside of a ping pong ball."
    The "out" player went back to smelling the broken ball, and soon enough, other co-workers joined in. The broken ball was passed between all of the players as they stopped their game.
    At first I thought the "I'm not sure I'd want to admit..." guy had a point, so I decided not to. But eventually, curiosity got the best of me and I took the holey ball from the ping-pong-ball-smelling initiator, placed the hole right under my nose and smelled.
    As it turns out, the inside of a ping pong ball smells strongly of camphor. Why is anyone's guess. But it reminded me of the Campho-phenique tonic that my mother taught me to use for canker sores & tastebuds that were coming off...even though its intended use is something like an antibiotic ointment.
    So there you have it. Camphor. And as it turns out, I'm ok with being one of very few people on earth who know this. 

Well, my lunch is now gone and still no trace of my wayward beau.    Perhaps he had some more work to do. Gotta love his communication though.

As for me, I plan to rinse out this treatment in a bit and then get to washing all of my combs & brushes. Maybe my makeup brushes & tools as well.
    But that's all for now. Can't wait to see what adventures the rest of the day may bring.

Well, I still haven't washed those combs & brushes.    This is just getting ridiculous.

Today I washed once with Pantene DMR 2 in 1, and left the Intensive Restoration Treatment in for over an hour. After rinsing that out, I followed with the DMR conditioner, and then a vinegar rinse to remove any residue from using the DMR shampoo yesterday.
    After this, I conditioned again, using the last of 2 Herbal Essences conditioner bottles. Now said bottles are empty and in the recycle bag! Hahahaha! Be gone!

On an Herbal Essences note, Club Herbal selected me as their daily winner for a free HE t-shirt. It's like they knew I was giving up on their product for good & are trying to lure me back in with their lush fragrances and residue-free shampoos. Bah! I will not be taken so easily!
    Last night, I told my boyfriend that I had won an HE t-shirt, and asked him if he wanted it, since he uses HE every day. He said, "Sure." HA! Take that, Herbal Essences! 

Anyway, the usual leave-in's today: Pantene's Light Spray Conditioner and Daily Moisture Treatment.

Allowed my hair to air-dry as usual, then brushed it out and rolled it into a velour scrunchie bun.

My boyfriend was gone all day. At around 9 pm, he called me from the grocery store, asking what kind of ice cream I liked.    Awwww.
    He arrived home with my favourite kind - mint & chip - AND Hershey's chocolate syrup a few minutes later.   
    I also learned that he loves sour candy just as much as I do. He couldn't keep his hands out of the bag of sour Skittles that I bought after work. 

Experimenting with a new facewash for night. Clean & Clear for sensitive skin. It's very pure & gentle. No medicines, no moisturizers, just clean. I rather like it, but only for a night cleanser.
    Also used Freeman's cucumber, melon & ginseng peel-off masque. Ahhhh it's like clear skin in a tube! Once that was removed, rinsed & followed with rubbing alcohol as a toner. hahaha I can almost hear a lot of people screaming at the idea...but my skin can swing it.

Anyway, I have the morning shift tomorrow & it's already 11 pm. Better get some shut-eye.

Peace out.

Not much to post tonight...and I'm really tired, so I'll make this brief.

Still having the greasy roots problem with Pantene. *sigh*
    Tomorrow I think I might try Restoratives again. I don't know.  ??? 

It's a lot like life...everything has its own little set of problems & nothing is ever "right" or "perfect." It's bringing me down, mannn! 

No split ends or anything, which is good. And the length is getting to a point where I'm actually starting to notice it now. It's starting to brush against my arms when I do certain things. Encouraging.

Tonight I cooked rotini in brine, then topped with garden variety spaghetti sauce & parmesan cheese. Made garlic bread too. My boyfriend was thrilled to come home to a freshly-prepared meal. Filled him up good too.    We then sat on the couch and watched "The Nightmare Before Christmas," and he fell asleep halfway through it, asusual. 

Now I'm about ready to hit the hay myself. But there is one more thing that's been on my mind...

Yesterday, I talked to my father over the phone for awhile, and he asked if I was interested in moving back to the house when my ex is finally gone.
    My father now hates my ex and hasn't one good thing to say about him...and has vowed to take drastic measures in order to make my old room inhabitable again.
    I told him that I would have to think about it...and I have been.

Obviously there would be advantages...especially on the financial side. Like I would finally be able to buy that new Mustang.    Plus, I would have an "out," as my mother calls it, just in case it doesn't work out with my boyfriend. I would no longer live in the slums of the inner city, nor would I be surrounded 24/7 by smoke.

The disadvantages... *sigh* are unfortunately probably more numerous. The biggest one being, probably, that it would mean willingly subjecting myself to the stressful and abusive environment that I have already spent far too much of my life in. Living with them was nothing short of a nightmare...and I remember how desperate I was to move out of there. Both times. It was worse than I could possibly describe...and to this day I rarely talk about it. I never discuss details about it. Too painful.
    Another disadvantage, not to mention a major inconsistency on my part, would be abandoning my boyfriend. I really don't think that my father would extend his invitation to both of us, nor do I think that he or my mother would tolerate my boyfriend's vices/behaviour. In fact, I know they wouldn't. And I normally wouldn't...were it not for this messed up situation. In any case, I am, at the very least, financially obligated to him. We signed onto this gig together and are equally committed to seeing it through together.
    Besides, I want to help him help himself. I want to see him succeed - get out of debt, get an education and make something of himself. I gave my word to his older brother that I would see to that. I don't want to let anyone down.
    Another disadvantage is that my old bedroom would feel tainted, thanx to my wicked ex enhabiting and poisoning it for so long. I don't know that it would ever truly feel like "my room" again. I'd be living with his memory in a way. With his leftover vibes, the "influence" that no amount of cleaning or restoration can erase. Needless to say, that wouldn't be healthy. I'm already messed up psychologically enough.

WHOOOOOAAAAAAA I just ate a bunch of sour powder left at the bottom of my (empty) bag of sour Skittles.   

Yeah...um, psychological damage. I was saying?   

So I've given it some thought...but I really don't think that thinking it through is really going to help. I can overanalyze until I'm blue in the face, but what good would that do? What miracle conclusion could I possibly come to that hasn't crossed my mind already?
    No, I think that the proper action is just to wait and see. If a situation arises where I feel the need to drop everything here and go running back to mother & father like a sissy, then I might. But you know what? I'm pushing 30. I can't go running back to them every time life just doesn't turn out the way I'd like. Eventually I'm going to have to just deal with things on my own.
    Independence. Self-sufficiency. That's what being grown up really means.

But anyway...the offer is still there if I want it. Or if I need it. But as I've said...I remember what life was like for me there, and it's quite obvious by now (I should think) that I will do anything NOT to go back.
    Still, there's always that option. And now, the next time my boyfriend says, "pack up your @#$% and get the &%#$ out," maybe I'll finally take him up on it!

Anyway, totally not sure what to do with my hair now. It's like I've tried everything & nothing is 100% perfect. *sigh* So now what?

Karma. Yessss.... it all comes back to you in the end.

I need to tune into my spiritual/philosophical side again. Between work & the drama at home, I feel the life get sucked out of me more and more each day.

heh if I wasn't all-too-aware of the horrific things life can throw at me (or take away), I'd tempt it to do its worst. God knows I've been strong enough to live through everything that's been thrown my way already.

Today, I finally broke down & did a clarifying wash with Pantene Purity shampoo (twice), a distilled white vinegar rinse and plenty of cool water.

The water did some pretty funky temperature changes while I was in the shower today.      Makes things rather difficult.

Anyway, followed with Pantene Daily Moisture Renewal conditioner.
    When I got out of the shower, I looked at the clock only to realize that I should have been entering the office right at that moment!! It was as if I'd stepped into some sort of timewarp in the bathroom or something! 

In a whirl of clothes, shoes, gear and filthy language,    I hurried myself together & ran out the door to my car. Caught traffic...but still made it in on time. Whew!

Needless to say, no leave-in's today. Which is fine. I might put some olive oil in my hair for overnight, and I'll want it to absorb.

Boyfriend & I are at odds yet again. *sigh!*    Just when things were looking up.
    I just don't know about this whole "relationship" thing. Perhaps it really would be for the best if I lived a solitary life. I would be content that way. No one to interfere, mess me up or try to pull me off of my path. Just myself and my own terms. That's a dream I wish could be attained.

On the phone today, yet again, my father suggested that I move back in. *sigh* After all that's been going on within the past few days, I have at least thought about it. But still in no hurry...

Supposedly, the rain is on its way. It's been very cloudy for the last 2 days or so...with bits of blue here & there, which I wish would go away. I don't want to see blue skies anymore. Or the sun. I want dark clouds to swallow them all up and enshroud the world in one omnipresent cold shadow.

"I want to see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I want to see the sun blotted out from the sky..."

Anyway...I think I'll freshen up a bit and head out east. Far east, where the air is clear. Maybe it could help clear my head. And my lungs. *cough*

I will keep you and your family in my prayers, especially your Grandmother.

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with praying for the "best outcome" for a person.  I am a strong believer in quality of life, and when that is no longer an option, then there is no longer any point in continuing in this world.  Give the person and their family the opportunity to accept what is happening and say their goodbyes without a lot of suffering is how I always hope things will end.  A peaceful passing with family present is the best.

Thank you so much, BB.   

The weekend was a dull one, and again, spent alone. My beloved was running up to L.A. and back, again helping some friends move. At least they reimbursed him for gas. 

I used the "alone time," as usual, to give special attention to my hair. For the past 3 days, the routine has been: shampoo once with Pantene Daily Moisture Renewal 2 in 1. Leave the Intensive Moisturizing Mask in for an hour (or more). Rinse out & follow with Daily Moisture Renewal Conditioner. Leave-in's are Pantene Light Spray Conditioner (which I'm quickly running out of) and Daily Moisture Treatment, before detangling with my RS #45.

This routine is working well, except for the oily, stuck-together feeling at the crown (and sometimes on the length) that the leave-in's cause. But that's nothing that a brush-through can't fix.

I regret that I have neglected to oil the ends all weekend. Hopefully I can fix that today. 

Most of all, I am going to try and get myself ready (and hair in order) in time to try out some of the suuuuper gawthy makeup that I bought on Friday, before heading off to work.
    I feel much better when I am entirely put together: clothes, makeup, hair, jewelry, the works! Plus, when the co-worker who wants me realizes that I'm a goth (if he hasn't already), his feelings for me may die and die hard.    Well, I can hope, at least.

No news yet on my grandmother. It's been 2 days since I last heard anything. That may be good (well, as "good" as can be expected right now) or it could be very, very bad. I'll ask my mother about her today when I get to the office. No doubt she will have much to say.

Anyway, aside from my hair, I have also been using the time to clean up my apartment and finish little projects that had been sitting around for quite awhile.
    I finally finished one of the tombstone candleholders that I'd started....oh about last summer.    With the dæmon moving in and royally trashing the place, I just couldn't get around to finishing it. But now I have clean, clutter-free counter space.    And consequently, I now have a set of 2 tombstone candleholders.
    They look pretty close to what I had originally envisioned, but I am not thrilled with them. I am planning to make 2 more, using different materials, to see if that improves things.

I was also able to clean the mistmaker that my father gave me for Christmas and get it running. Still works like a dream, but the on/off switch is much harder to move now. At the moment, I have it running with the blue LED lights lit in it. Looks good as ever.

Anyway, I'll be getting ready for work now. Peace!