Im so sorry to hear about your grandmother! I hope things work out for the best.

Don't snap.girl   Everything will be ok.  While your man is out listening to bands,you do what you like to relax and feel better about yourself.  Things have a way of working themselves out in the end,so don't sweat it!
As for the Biotin,from what I know it really is used for the skin first and the hair second.  That's why I say try the silica to see what happens.
If you do go the Biosilk way,I think you'll really like it.  Over here my way I think it's $30 for lemme think,the 16oz. bottle.  Not sure,but I remember it being alittle pricey!  What we don't do for our hair
Let me know how things works for ya on both ends.
Peace,
Curlgirl

*group hug Trisha & Curlgirl64* Thanx, you guys.

After work on Wednesday, I was struck yet again with the urge to herbal.    That and pick up some necessities for the home. So off I went to East County (I refuse to shop in the inner city - it's a ghetto).

While in the parking lot at Target, a big silver pickup honked at me. At first, I almost didn't respond. But I turned to look, and it was my parents. 
    My mother rolled down her window and asked what I was doing "way out there," seeing as it's so far from where I live. Then they both said that they were on their way to dinner, and invited me to join them. So I hopped into the truck, leaving my car in the parking lot.

At dinner, my father told me that his mother's condition is now "hour to hour"    and as if that weren't enough... my aunt (his sister) has just been diagnosed with a rare, incurable kidney disease. 

Needless to say, I am now not only forced to accept my family's mortality...but also my own. My father, sister and I are all quite concerned now for our future health. And now that I think about it, it makes me even angrier at my boyfriend for his smoking habit. I mean, good God, there are enough things in this world that can kill us involuntarily. Why in the world would anyone add to them by their own choosing?!  ???
    I realize, of course, that this is all making me even more cynical than I already am. People are such idiots and while that may not shock me anymore, it disgusts me ever further.    I think Jhonen Vasquez wrote it best: "If they really had a desire to live, they would've been more aware of how easy it is to die, would've chosen their actions more wisely."

*sigh* So...hair. 
    Yesterday, I did a clarifying wash with Herbal Essences Clarifying shampoo, a vinegar rinse, Herbal Essences Light conditioner and plenty of cool water. My hair felt suuuuuper soft, without the greasy roots, thank goodness.    It also smelled amazing. 

Today, it will be standard procedure. Herbal Essences Replenishing S & C and the leave-in conditioner. I bought all of these things when my parents dropped me back off in the Target parking lot after dinner. 

The thing I love about Herbal Essences is it gives my hair a completely different texture and feel than Pantene. Perhaps it just returns my hair closest to its natural state...but there is this luxuriously soft but kind of "hard" feeling about it at the same time. I dig it. I like that it doesn't leave a coating or a residue behind. I like the way it leaves my hair feeling light & airy...and that fragrance. God!! 

Speaking of which, I'd better hop in the shower & get ready for work. Hopefully things will work themselves out soon. *sigh* Tragedy, chaos...and Herbal Essences. That's where I'm at right now. 

((((((Huggggz Angel))))))

I think I know all too well what you are feeling.  It is sooo hard trying to compute the impending mortality of the ones you love.  It was hard enough on you with trying to accept your grandmother's, but now you've got your aunt thrown in the mix as well.  I am so sorry that you have to be experiencing all of this...compiled with your dear bf's antics.  I wish I was there, I'd hug you so hard I'd smoosh you!  And then we'd paint each other's nails black, and braid each other's hair, and....I don't know, what else is it that girls do?  Oh yeah!  EAT TONS OF CHA-CHA-CHA-CHOCOLATE!    (I'm sorry- I never did much of the girlie stuff  )

Okay, on to your greasy-root problem....what method do you use when you are washing and conditioning your hair?  Do you condition from your roots down, or your ears down?  I do from my ears down just for that reason, putting any kind of a conditioner on my roots makes for greasy, flat looking hair.    I know that you use a lot of leave in treatments and hair masks, do you think that they have anything to do with it?  Do you apply any of those to your roots?  The only thing that touches my roots is either shampoo, vinegar rinse, or aloe gel, never any conditioner or oils...I get greasy enough on my own!    Just thinking here....

Anywayz, try to hang in there girl  , we all love you and are here for you...we'll pick up where bf leaves off! 

Love ya, magz

(((((((((((group hug Magz & Curlgirl64))))))))))))

Curlgirl64: You are such an inspiration! My boyfriend has been smoking only a little longer than you did, so if you can do it, I know he can.
   I know he could quit if he was really willing to put out the effort. That may be where the two of you differ. YOU were willing & you worked for it. Him...not so much.  

Maggie: The only things that ever touch the roots of my hair are shampoo and the leave-in's, and I suspect both. Especially the former.
   When I condition or treat, I do only the length and never the crown. And the only oil that ever touches my hair is a spray mixture of mostly water and it goes on the very tips only.
   I think that Pantene's Daily Moisture Renewal shampoo and 2 in 1 are just heavy on the conditioners & cones. The Daily Moisture Treatment (leave-in) also contributes to the greasy roots factor, so the answer might be as simple as just switching to a lighter line...like Classic Care or Smooth & Sleek. *shrug*

Quote:

lmao Come over anytime! You'd be the ultimate girlfriend in my book!    We could totally hit up the Godiva chocolatiers in the malls. Plenty to do here in the big city.

Haven't heard anything about my grandmother for a few days. I guess/hope no news is good news.
   My parents considered flying up to WA this weekend to see her, but my grandfather called and said there was no need. Good sign? Bad sign? Neither?  ???
   In the mean time, I've been praying for her every day. Mostly for a miracle.

Quite a turnaround in my boyfriend lately. In a wave of drama on Saturday night, he explained that he was sick of spending so much time apart and leading separate lives. Sunday, he promised, was for US. We went to Disneyland late in the afternoon. It should've been awesome...but it was insanely crowded and, as I discovered too late, he had been chewing gum with phenylalanine in it the whole day!!    He is phenylketanuric, of course, so by dinner time, he was quite ill. I had to take him home immediately after dinner. We only got to go on 2 rides in Disney's California Adventure (I hate that park).  
   For the past few nights, he's made dinner for both of us and seems to be making an effort to spend more time together. He even took me aback yesterday by announcing his decision to stay with me forever and bringing up a unique idea for our wedding.   hehehe I don't know whether to be stoked or run for my life.  

The wedding that I did have some small part in on Saturday went quite well. My sister, her boyfriend and I helped decorate the pizza parlour with balloons and candle centerpieces. The colours were black, silver and red...and the place looked awesome when everyone was done. There were candles, streamers, coloured tablecloths, favours, you name it.
   The bride and groom wore matching black & silver bowling shirts with their names & wedding date embroidered on. My father was the best man and my mother, the "best woman"....the bride thought that the whole "matron of honour" thing was passé.  
   During the reception, we had bread, antipasta and, of course, pizza.    Then my father pulled out one of his guitars and sang songs with the groom. It was great.

As for my hair, well....ugh.    I'm ping-ponging again. Pantene DMR = greasy roots, Herbal Essences = tangles. I just don't know. I need to clarify yet again tomorrow.
   If I stick with Pantene, I will most likely end up switching to a lighter line. Or maybe to Restoratives.
   Maybe I'll just try to make it work with Herbal Essences somehow. I don't know.  ???  I'm getting really burned out on the hair thing. I've mentioned that before. Oy.

*shrug* Something has to work. Until I discover just what that is (at least for now), I think I'll just focus on the more mechanical things...like combing and scalp massages. And I must remember to oil the ends every single day. I'm just terrible with that lately!
   I'd really love to actually reach my short-term goal (listed below) this year, but that won't happen if I keep abusing my hair & depriving it of what it needs.

Anyway, the morning schedule left my biological clock a mess & I've been tired all day today. Time for some much-needed and well-deserved shut-eye. Peace out!

Today I did a clarifying wash with Herbal Essences Clarifying shampoo, Clean-Rinsing conditioner, a vinegar rinse in a pretty Fiji water bottle and plenty of cold water.
    No more greasies, I am happy to report, and my hair smells great! 

I've been thinking that I'll just use what I have for now, as far as products go. There's almost no point in going to the store & buying more of anything, because I pretty much already have everything I could ever want. All I have to do is open up the bathroom drawers. Much more cost-effective that way, too.

So yeah, new strategy: use what I already have until it's gone, starting with Herbal Essences.

Alright...other news. *deep breath*

I will be taking yet another forced hiatus away from the net, as my copy of Windows expires in 5 days. So if I'm absent for a time in the near future, you'll know why.

My father took a plane to WA this evening. My grandmother is not expected to make it through the weekend.    I'll still continue to pray for a miracle until I can't anymore.

This afternoon, I also learned that the family dog...a 10-year-old yellow lab named Bodie...has cancer. Bone cancer, which has already spread to his lungs. He has been aging pretty fast lately, and can no longer do the active things he loves most. 

What else? Hmm....my boyfriend is sick, my car insurance was cancelled today, my registration papers are ruined, one of my rear taillights is burned out, 2 of our 3 horses are dying....it's like someone or something is trying to play a terrible joke on me or something. I'm not going to tempt fate by asking what else it can throw at me...but I can hear it laughing. Laughing as I cry.

Anyway, yeah....tragedy, chaos, Herbal Essences.   

So much for miracles.

My grandmother passed away today around noon.      Apparently she was only waiting for my father to arrive before she felt that she could. She was surrounded by her husband and 3 children.

I got the news at the end of my shift at work today. My mother's cell phone wasn't working, so my father had to reach her at work. I answered, but he didn't want to talk to me, he wanted my mother.

Very rarely have I ever known my father to cry. I have seen it happen only a few times...one of them was when our first dog died from cancer. 
    In any case, he was crying when I answered the phone, and I knew what had happened. 

Strangely enough, I believe that I had known even before that...at least on some wavelength. Perhaps more subconsciously than anything.
    One thing my grandmother gave me through the miracle of genetics is a legitimate 6th sense. She was psychic, and so is my father, and so am I, at least a little. Part of that gypsy heritage, I guess. We have always been able to sense things on very delicate wavelengths. I probably sound like a kook...but it's the truth. I believe that I may have actually been aware of her passing the very moment that it happened.

Anyway, I remained strong and professional after my mother started crying...only because she needed me to be. I have been crushed on the inside all day, and for whatever reason, just haven't really managed to let it out yet.

In any case...that's pretty much been my day, or at least the weight of it.

It's a partial and definite relief to know that she is no longer suffering and is free and happy. And that she has been reunited with her parents, who were also taken too soon.
    But there is also the matter of what is left behind. Her husband will be a wreck, if he isn't already, and my father won't be much better. I suppose that all of us will be for awhile...in our own ways.

So...yeah...in other news, as if it matters...

Washed twice with Herbal Essences Replenishing shampoo and conditioned once with the matching conditioner. Used the Herbal Essences leave-in conditioner, but forgot to oil the ends & they're drying out! That was kinda not my fault, though, because my boyfriend decided to hog the bathroom right as I needed to do this, and before he was out, I had to leave for work.   
    For the past 2 days, I have been using only my RS #45 comb on my hair - no brushes. I'd like to see what the "no brush" technique does for my hair, if anything.

My Newport News order finally came today. I had ordered a pair of jeans and a vintage-ish blouse, but neither one of them fit.    That's 3 things that I've ordered recently that haven't worked out, counting a shirt that I got from JCPenney. Grrrr...    Clothes shopping sux.

Anyway, nothing new to report besides what I've already mentioned, so I guess all that's left to do is sleep. Catch y'all on the flip side.

Curlgirl64: Thank you for thinking of me. I truly appreciate it. Surprisingly, peace and serenity are not far off.

God bless you, grandma. You were the first person ever to call me your angel...now I get to call you mine. Until we meet again...

  Angel,I am so sorry.......my heart is with you and your family.......when you do "let it out" it will be such a relief of emotion,pressure and then the calm comes......I'll be thinking of you