Thanks for the encouragement BB, I needed to read this after three tantrums in the first ten minutes after arriving home.

So guess what was in my email inbox when I got back from my class:

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PATCHOULI & HERB SOAP...LOTION BAR... mmmmmmmm

Congrats!

I am in PMS hell today. Aunt Flo is supposed to be here tomorrow and my hormones are raging. I can't be around my husband. My kids' usual fighting is sending me over the edge. I am uncontrollably eating through this entire bag of Spicy Doritos. Ack! 

That was a long weekend.

I went to a semi-formal function Friday night with hubby and wore my hair twisted up in a claw clip with the ends hanging over the top of the clip. I was thrilled to find out that all my layers are long enough to stay up now. I am going to try to CO every other day and shampoo only if I sense a cone overload, clarify once a month, SMT every two weeks. I am going to try to wear the hair up as often as I can but the claw clips are the only things that work right now, besides plain old ponytail holders. I use the clear plastic ouchless kind of ponytail holder and rarely find any hairs caught in them, and I wear them loosely around the ponytail, so I imagine they're not doing any damage. I have also started using a distilled water and jojoba oil spray on my hair on the non-shampoo days, but I think I am going to have to put some kind of butter on the ends to really seal in some moisture down there.

I am going to be trying to not think about my hair for a while. Time will pass if I don't watch the clock, if you know what I mean. The water will boil if I don't watch the pot. The rhinoceros will...j/k.

I made a lasagna last night mmmmmmmmmm and froze a big section for "Grandma J" who really isn't related to  me by blood but rather by love. She has had a touch of pneumonia and so Thursday we'll be heading over to visit and bring her some grub so she doesn't have to bother. We have lots of people in our circle of friends who need help right now, new babies, sicknesses, new homes. I guess we're in that season of our lives where we're all making big changes and we need each other a lot more now than ever. I never had girlfriends in high school or even college because, as far as I was concerned, all I needed was a man. HA! HAHAHAHAHA! I really credit my spiritual journey with my newfound understanding and appreciation of GIRLFRIENDS! And then when you have kids you really feel the need for female companionship, because who else is going to be able to understand what the heck you're talking about when you go on and on about Baby Bjorns, Graco versus Britax, the horrific smell of Diaper Genies, and on and on. Not to mention potty training. So I feel really blessed to be needed, not only by my family but by other families and friends. *warm fuzzies* Thank you God for turning me into a person that is worthy of and capable of being a friend to others.

So I guess I should get off my butt and start hitting the to-do list, but I wanted to say to all the ladies (and gents) here at the board that if you need me, I will be happy to bring over a big piece of lasagna and a hug to you. And I promise not to talk about potty training...unless you bring it up first.

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OK. I hope this question isn't an intrusion into your private life, if it is please feel free to tell me to go back to talking about your/my hair. I have been wanting to ask you this for quite some time, Angel Spun, but this last insight into the habits and nature of your S.O. has pushed me over the edge and now I ask you this: honey, is there any chance that maybe you could do better than this guy? Does he have any redeeming features? Have you thought about making a change? Are you still in love with him? Because you seem like such a cool person and he seems...well, I read your journal. I know that we tend to vent in our journals but the facts, not feelings, the actual things I've read that he does or, conversely, the things he doesn't do, freak me out. What's up with that?

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LOL LJ...you kill me.  

And no, I'm not offended by your questions. Your concern and the amount of thought you've put toward it is flattering, actually.  
   The truth is, my boyfriend works very, very hard. I don't think that he gets nearly enough credit for that. He works long, laborious hours and injures himself on a daily basis (yeah, he is a little bit of a klutz) just to keep a roof over our heads. I have nothing but respect for that, even though that may get unintentionally overshadowed by my "venting."  
   Also, he didn't have the greatest upbringing in the world...and by that I mean that no one raised him. His parents are divorced - and after being taken away from his mother at a very young age, thrown in and out of foster care until his neglecting father took custody of him, he had to raise himself. And given the kind of person his father is and the kind of environment that he grew up in, I'm actually rather surprised (not to mention grateful) that he didn't turn out a thousand times worse. After all he's been through (most of it foolishly self-inflicted), it's a wonder that the guy is even alive today.
   Of course, I'm not trying to make excuses for his inexcusable behaviour...just attempting to provide some insight as to why he is the way he is. And you can bet that I was likely just as much of a "culture shock" to him as he was to me. He's not used to propriety, morals, cleanliness, organization or restraint...but he does know that he wants them in his life. Not only were these things not forced upon him while growing up, they were never shown to him either...until now.
   Yes, he's rude, barbaric and unrefined...not to mention a downright JERK at times...OK, often. But underneath all of that (or perhaps in addition to it) he is a genuine inner light and one of the hardest-working men that I have ever known. I do love him dearly.

Now as to whether I could do better....honey, I have done better.    But this is what I've got to deal with right now. It's pretty bad, yeah. But it is at least marginally better than where I came from...and it keeps me from having to go back to it. *snicker* You don't really think I'd put up with all of this if I didn't have to...right?  

Tonight's entry in my own hair journal will touch on this a bit. But until then, I humbly thank you for your care & concern. You are a dear, dear lady with a rawkin' sense of humour.    

God bless.

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Now that is why I love it when you post in my journal, Miss Anais. You've given me much food for thought--although I'd also like to have some of your unique, not-from-a-recipe Asian food. I so appreciate your hair wisdom, many thanks.

Now, for Miss Angel Spun:
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You just described my husband's upbringing to a T.

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Again, you could be describing J (husband), or at least J about 15 or 20 years ago (he's 45 now). The similarities are eerie. His mom left his dad, J and J's four siblings with his alcoholic dad when J was 14 (he's the oldest) and things weren't so hot before that, so he was barely fed let alone taught how to be a normal, thoughtful person. And I still see glimpses of that little boy from time to time, but I'd say probably 99% of the time J is just about the best man I've ever known. He went from emotionally crippled to pretty darned awesome, but it took ten or fifteen long years of getting with the program. I thank God for coming into his life and turning things around for him, and, consequently, for me, too, in that God prepared him to be a good man to me and to our kids. But enough about me... 

I appreciate your openness about this issue. I wish there was a way for you to be able to have the freedom to be in this relationship on your terms with no strings attached--financial freedom, in other words. I am sure that's what you wish, too. I hate to think of you being in that situation, because it sucks. I guess I'll mosey on over to your journal to see what you've said about it already. Tata!