Ugh.

That pretty much sums up this morning. Ugh.  
   Once again, I'm running on a staggering 3 hours of sleep...and once again, I woke up terribly nauseous, faint and cold. I had to keep sitting and squatting down in the shower between tasks just to keep from vomiting or passing out.    I'm not sure why my body does this every time I have to get up early, but it's chronic.
   I also had to use very warm/hot water in the shower (cooler on the hair, of course) because someone's too cheap to actually turn on the heater when it's bloody cold outside. But anyway...

After the shower, I crawled right back into bed and just laid there for awhile, feeling miserable. When the urge struck me, I got up and dressed...but my room is at least 20° colder than the rest of the house, for whatever reason, and I ended up freezing...and climbing back into bed with my clothes on.    I wanted so badly to just stay there and not move and just sleep...but alas, I had to get moving or wind up stuck in morning traffic. So reluctantly, I got out of bed one more time, put my shoes on, detangled my hair, gathered my stuff and left, outfitted in my winter coat and gloves.

Hours later, I've had water and something to eat, which seems to have helped quite a bit. Especially the water. When I was a teenager, someone taught me that water cures nausea, and I've found it to be an incredibly helpful tip.

Nothing terribly special on the hair front. Still the Ice Shine/DMR WCC and today I detangled as usual with the Light Spray Conditioner and my broken RS #45. No oil, though. I simply didn't have time. Although, I did do a very heavy EVOO treatment last night.
   Right now, it's just down. I didn't feel like doing anything with it.

In other news, I finally picked up my new laptop yesterday after work. It's great - I haven't gotten to play around with it much yet. But my real problem is that I can't figure out how to enter the bloody encryption code so that it will be able to connect with the wireless network in the house. Ah, technology...  

So, that's today. I missed my walk last night and have to make it up tonight. And I'm in desperate need of a manicure. I'm not quite as ill now as I was when I first woke up, but I'm still far from functional.    Only the thought of my best friend in MI keeps me going. God willing, we'll be together soon.

Bad Hair Days: Blargh. That's how I'm feeling about my hair lately. 
    I'm still doing the WCC's with Pantene Ice Shine and Daily Moisture Renewal. Still detangling with Pantene Light Spray Conditioner and my broken RS #45. Still misting the ends and occasionally the length with my water/oil/aloe solution. Still taking vitamin E every day (almost 4 months now), still clarifying once a week, still doing deep conditioning/heavy EVOO treatments whenever I can. So what's wrong?

Well...morale is a huge factor right now. Usually, I don't care that much. I go about my routine with a fairly neutral attitude because, I suppose, it helps to keep my frustrations at bay. I usually don't get rattled until someone says something negative about it, which does happen on occasion. My parents do not support my will for long hair at all, and it's all too easy for their friends to take their side.
    Just such a thing happened yesterday morning. I was standing in the kitchen, minding my own...my parents and one of their friends were in the next room. Then, from out of nowhere, my father looked at me and said, in front of everyone, that he thought I'd been using too much conditioner or something because it always looks as if it's been "soaked in 30 weight" as he put it.    Of course, this was first thing in the morning...before I'd had a shower or anything, so of course my hair would have been oily! He then said that he'd been looking at it the day before and thought the same thing. Then it became a regular bashfest of sorts. My father started it, his friend chimed in and then my mother joined. "Hair convictions" were flying, along with the usual ignorance and intolerance. I wasn't part of the argument, of course, but my hair was the basis of it.

My mother said that my hair looked fuzzy and needed a trim...which I'll admit is true. And I think I'll schedule my next one for the beginning of May instead of June. It needs it. And so long as I reach BSL this year, I don't care so much about going longer. Save that for next year, maybe.
    As for the "fuzziness," I have accepted that the ends sticking out in the middle of my length are, in fact, breakage rather than new growth. And I got them during the traumatic year and a half with my last boyfriend. 

So yeah, the 3-way bashfest (yet again!) worked wonders for my longhair morale. At that moment, I would have welcomed a hair compliment from anyone. I thought about my far-away friend, and that if any such compliment should come my way, it would most likely come from him, right? Wrong. Love *him* as I may, he isn't the compliment type. He doesn't take them well and would not be likely to give one. He never said anything about the lock of hair that I sacrificed and sent to him. Nothing that would resemble a compliment, that is. And I'd be fronting if I said that I don't have an ounce of regret about sending it to him.
    So my morale is in the toilet and this morning, I considered shaving my head. 

But rather than resorting to such dramatic, impulsive measures, I'm going over my current routine. Deciding what I can do differently for lower impact on my hair, which should lead to less breakage. Once I reach BSL, I might just maintain it for awhile while I grow the damage out.

Today, I also tried BB's wet handed braiding technique with good results.    Thanx, BB!

In Other News: Huzzah! My new laptop is now connected to the wireless network in my house. Granted, that required setting up a new wireless network with a new router et al, costing me a great deal. Problem is now my sister's laptop won't connect. Argh! So now, not only are my parents furious with me, I'll have to shell out even more of my hard-earned $$$ to get a new wireless card for my sister's laptop. And so long as it's in for repairs, I might spring for a new cursor as well, since her current one is worn out. She said that she would reimburse me. *sigh* It just never ends...

On the flip side, however, I no longer have to spend late nights at my uncle's office, dealing with his archaic, dysfunctional equipment. Yay.

My state tax return arrived in the mail over the weekend. Still waiting on federal. When I've saved up enough, I'm going to have my car detailed. Pinstriping and everything. 
    Speaking of my car, I washed and waxed it Saturday night only to have a bird fly by and do his business on the right taillight Sunday morning.    That's exactly my kinda luck.

So jury duty awaits tomorrow. Can't wait. To get it over with, that is...

Ahh, Trisha...I think you misunderstand. An argument is when multiple parties voice opposing ideas from different standpoints. A bashfest is one-sided. Where one or more parties voice a singular, mutual opinion about a certain person or object, whether said person or object is present or not.
    This was a bashfest, not an argument. I do not argue with my parents simply because it would be pointless. Both are extremely stubborn, narrow and prejudiced people, convinced that their way is the only way. Everyone else is wrong. I learned a long time ago not to argue with them or try to open up their minds even a little. It's a futile effort and a waste of breath.
    So it wouldn't matter if I smiled and walked away or not. Their comments would continue...and I would still hear them. *shrug*

Anyway, I did a heavy EVOO treatment last night and this time, I applied the oil to my scalp as well as the length. That infernal sleep cap was again a pain and I couldn't wait to take it off when I woke up.

This morning was a WTC routine. Washed once with Pantene Ice Shine shampoo, then treated for an hour with the Intensive Restoration Treatment from the DMR line. After rinsing that out, I finished with the DMR conditioner. All of my rinsing was done under the faucet rather than with the blasted showerhead in my bathroom. Rather, I got most of whatever I was rinsing out at the time with the faucet, then finished with the showerhead. *sigh* I completely despise that thing.

I was against wet detangling today, so I just sprayed Pantene's Light Spray Conditioner and my oil solution onto the length of my hair and let it air dry. I'll comb and braid it during my break as usual.

Lately, I've been considering the seek and destroy idea in hopes that it might help with some of the damaged ends that poke out everywhere. I've never really done it before, but then...my hair has never looked as it currently does before.    &@%$ that flannel bedding! And &@%$ its owner too! It's just one more way that he screwed me over.    Curse him!

*ahem* So next week, I will be scheduling (or trying to) an appointment with my scissor lady. Even if she takes off the usual 1½" that will be fine. So long as I still reach 2 feet again and hit BSL by the end of the year, I'll be content. I must focus on the overall health of my hair rather than the length. The healthier something is, the longer it can grow and live.
    Once I reach BSL, I might just maintain it for awhile. Until all of my tumultuous past has grown out.

In other news, jurty duty was even more boring than expected. I always seem to forget to bring a book or a magazine or anything to help me pass the time, so I just waited. And waited. And waited.    Fortunately, I don't have to go back for at least another year.

With the rest of my day off, I took my sister's laptop to the store to see if they could do anything with it...but they found no defect with it. My sister said that she might have a computer-savvy friend of hers work on it. So I'm off the hook for the time being.

The long distance thing is still going, though doubt is creeping back into the picture. *sigh* So what else is new?

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does
                          -The Smiths, How Soon Is Now?

Kiraela: Thanx, girl. *hugz* 

I'm well aware that long distance relationships can work. My parents and grandparents are testaments to that.   

As for the blatant rudeness of my parents & co., I'm unfortuntely quite accustomed to it. At any given moment, they'll find one thing or another to rip on me for. It's always something. *shrug* I'm not going to put up a front and pretend that it doesn't bother me at all. It does hurt my feelings, but when you grow up in an environment where things like that happen all the time, you do kinda get used to it. Not that that makes it ok...
    As for avoiding them, that's rather difficult to do when you live with them. But I do stay out of their way as much as possible and keep my personal business private.

Hair: Another WCC today. I wet detangled with Pantene's Light Spray Conditioner, my oil mist solution and my broken RS #45. hehe I swear, one of these days, I'm going to have to replace that Rachael Stephens comb. I love it (works great on my wet hair) but that missing tooth is just too much. 
    Right now, hair is dry and braided and all is well.

Last night, I almost bought a light conditioner so I could begin doing CWC's. But at the last minute, I reconsidered, figuring that I'd want to use up all of my Ice Shine/DMR products first. Perhaps the CWC's can wait until June. Then I'll have an even 6 months of experimentation with it and should be able to see if it benefits my hair.

Other: I haven't lost any weight this month and it's bumming me out.    I've been walking every other night with nothing to show for it. Next month, I'm going to add ab training to my routine and I may resume my junk food strikes.

My far-away friend says that he'll be here soon. *sigh* Funny, he's been saying that for the past 7 months now. Nevermind that he never sent me anything for Christmas, my birthday or Valentine's Day.    I love the boy, but I'm not blind. If he could manage to get his act together and find a <bleep>ing job, then my outlook might be a bit more positive. But he's not making the effort, pure and simple so naturally, I do feel slighted.
    *He* is still my best friend and I'm willing to stand by him and support him, as he realizes that his routine needs to change. But that won't last forever. Ultimately, no amount of support or encouragement on my part is going to help him if he keeps neglecting to help himself.

Alright, I'm done. Sorry for the rant.   

Trisha: Man, if things get much worse here, I might take you up on that offer.    *hugz*

Hair: Another WTC today. Washed once with Patnene Ice Shine shampoo, treated for an hour with the Intensive Moisturizing Mask, then finished with the Daily Moisture Renewal conditioner. Detangled and oiled as usual. Huzzah!

Work: Next week will see my 2-year anniversary with my current company. After that, I will start looking for *sniff* other employement.    At this point, I'm not sure whether I'll be looking for a 2nd job to supplement my current one or another job entirely. If I choose the latter and it doesn't work out, I can always come back to this one. *gulp!*
    But I'm afraid to give up the security that my current job allows. I've never had this kind of stability before. Not to this extent, at least. *sigh* Decisions, decisions... 

Love...? May be irreparably damaged, I regret to say. I really don't see a way out of this one. Of course, I've said that before...but this time, I really don't know. This latest setback may be the biggest one we've ever faced...and with all of the drama that he's already caused, I'm growing wearier of it all. Perhaps this will indeed be the year that I swear off men forever. They have never brought me anything but pain.

Other: Speaking of idiotic men, my father screamed at me yesterday afternoon because my sister's laptop still wasn't connected to our wireless network. He said, among other things, that I only cared about myself and so long as my laptop was working properly, I didn't care about anything else. In reality, I've been trying to connect my sister's laptop all week. But would he hear that? Do men hear anything?
    He also threatened to trash my new laptop if my sister's wasn't connected by this weekend. At the time, it didn't occur to me that I could press all sorts of charges.    He also told me to pack up my belongings and leave...
    A little while later, he apologized, saying that he'd had a [lousy] 3 days and didn't have anyone else to yell at. How lovely of him to take all of it out on me...    And it's most certainly not the first time. Freaking men! 

Anyway, I have someone coming out to work on my sister's laptop tonight, so all should be well by the weekend. On that front, at least... *sigh* 

Thanx, La Diosa. Taking a 2nd part time job to supplement my first one is probably just what I'll do. Almost time to start looking...

So today ended up being a sort of unintentional "hair day." Before my shower this morning, I did my very first seek & destroy/dusting just to see if it would help at all with the fuzzy, broken ends everywhere. And I think it might have actually helped a bit. 

After my shower, I scheduled an appointment with my scissor lady for a trim on the 6th of May (my mother's b-day). I'll probably lose 2" but that's ok with me. So long as I reach BSL by the end of the year, I'm good. I'll put a new ticker up after the trim, since my old one is now void.

This afternoon, I finally went out and bought a brand new showerhead for my bathroom. It's a cute little handheld model with a chrome finish, and I think it should work better for my hair than its predecessor. *crosses fingers*

In other news, my far-away friend and I somehow managed to find a way out of the storm again. At least kind of. I still feel slighted, but at least I believe now that he could make things better when I bring it up. I guess ultimately we just want and need each other too much to let anything come between us.
    I also learned a few days ago that *he* wants to be official.    I mean together officially. He's wanted it since we first became romantically involved. *swoon* While it can't happen just yet, I now know that it will happen soon.    That kid, man...

Unfortunately, not everything is roses. I'd made an appointment for Friday evening for someone to come out and connect my sister's laptop to our wireless network. But just before the guy was supposed to arrive, I couldn't find the thing anywhere and ended up having to cancel the appointment. I later learned that my sister had hidden her laptop from me so I couldn't use it. WTF?! 
    So Saturday morning, my parents screamed at me because her laptop still wasn't hooked up.    I scheduled another appointment for May 5th. What a friggin' nightmare this has become. 

Last night, I missed another walk, so I'm gonna have to go tonight and tomorrow. *sigh* Life...