I'm not trying to put you on the spot or anything, but why or how is that?  

I can relate to how performing in small venues being difficult.  I once did a studio session for a friend and there were a few people there with views inside the booth.  I was so nervous to know they'd all be watching me, I had them turn off the lights so no one could see me sing.  But I'm only shy when I sing, however, I know where that insecurity stems from.

LD: Quote:

My dear, it just is. I've often said that I don't believe in pride and vanity is kind of in that same vein. That and having always been tormented as the ugly weirdo in school. If you hear it long enough, eventually you'll see nothing else.

And regarding your studio friends...wouldn't it have been easier to just close your eyes and pretend they weren't there?

Drear: Hehe, thanx.
It was rather bizarre because I've certainly played to smaller audiences before. Perhaps it had more to do with being so close to the last one. I'm really not sure.

Hair: Stayed up way late last night, so I had a late start this morning. Mother made me clean the bathroom before I did anything, so it was after 2:00 PM before I got a shower. I'd had plans to clarify this morning, but it wouldn't have been enough since I tend to turn into The Creature From The Black Lagoon if I go too long without bathing. So I ended up doing a W-CWC with an ACV rinse after the first wash, and that did the trick. I've made another ACV rinse, so perhaps tomorrow   I'll clarify for real.

Leave-in's for the day were spray conditioner blend and serum. Style is...well, it isn't. Hair is down with a black headband.

Etc.: As I was closing up the office on Friday, my friend T told me not to leave just yet. He said he wanted to ask me something. When I locked the front door outside, he appeared from around the corner of my building and smiled, "Where do you wanna go?" This was remarkable because T lives a good 3 hours north of me and, as he later admitted, had to battle large clusters of traffic to make it to my work before I left. It was a complete surprise...and I am not easily surprised. And it didn't end there. When I climbed into his car, he had a bag of avocados and a get well card waiting for me in the passenger seat.

We first went to Balboa Park and walked around as the sun set. Of course, most of the museums, gardens and cafés were closed, but it was good to go back. I'd been meaning to for years and just hadn't made it. We admired the painfully ornate, Gothic architecture of the buildings in the area, made wishes at the wishing well and explored the valley trails at the base of the park. The latter of which led us to the bench where elder goth K and I had spent so much time on our first date...and where we'd first kissed. T & I stopped there for awhile, and I recanted to him things that happened during my first visit as my memory relived them. It was strange being there again.
   As we climbed the wooden steps out of the valley, I took T's hand and thanked him. It was better to face the memories in his company than alone. My eyes grew misty, but I knew that I was finally able to leave the past behind.

Our next stop was TGI Friday's for dinner. Have I mentioned how much it sucks going out for dinner with an ulcer? The only thing on the menu that I could have was gourmet mac & cheese, which ended up being really good, and all I could drink was water.
   A short time later, we found ourselves back at Lestat's coffee house, where I decided to forgo the ulcer diet and live like a person with normal constitutions for awhile. Nothing on the menu was safe, so I had an actual, caffinated drink for the first time in months. Neither my ulcer nor my nerves appreciated it. But it was fun. We stayed past 1:30 AM, then headed back to my work where my car was waiting. I didn't get to bed until after 2:00.

Thus, after 2 late nights, I'm beat. Tomorrow is another day and I have to work.

Hair: CWC. Leave-in's were spray conditioner blend on the length and EVOO on the ends. At the moment, it's still drying, but I've brought a hairtie to work with me so I can braid.

Work: The perpetrator called again yesterday and I attempted to trace him using *57. It didn't work. My phone system works differently than most landlines. So I e-mailed our IS person, apprised him of the situation and asked if he could find the feature code for tracing calls from our phone system. I have a feeling, though, that we'll probably end up having the phone company trap and/or block the number.

Music: Not sure if there will be a practice tonight since I've heard virtually nothing from the band. Although, I must remember that it's still quite early and the rest of them might not be awake yet. Wish I had their problem.
   But my father was hesitant when I asked if we were going this evening. Work keeps him later than usual now, so even if there is a rehearsal, we may not go. We'll see.

Etc.: The ulcer is definitely much better now than when it started 4 weeks ago. With a prescription, they usually take about 8 weeks to heal, so that's how much time I've alotted it, even though I don't have a prescription. It's a fair amount of time and I can't take much more than that without being to eat normally. It's not healthy. So today is the halfway point. I will observe the diet for 4 more weeks and then slowly begin reintroducing forbidden items. However, I plan to avoid aspirin products for at least a year since they were what caused this unfortunate setback in the first place.