For the most part, I have a ton of compliments on my (below the bottom) hair.  BUT- there are always a few who say, 'when are yo gonna get cut?"  They seem to think that long hair is not fashionable- I think it is a classic and i love my long hair!  Does anyone else experience this, it is rude!

Yes,I can relate,I hear thar often.
Relatives are the worst,especially my *favourite* sister in law.
It's incredibly rude,I would never comment on any ones appearance,with the exception of giving a compliment.

Sometimes I'm also tempted to give in and get a 'sporty' short cut-but then I think how much *I * enjoy my length,and the moment passes

I get many comments from children and men.  Only a few from women.  Jealousy could most certainly be a factor.  8)

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Yes,sadly,I think you are right.This is true for so many aspects of life.

You know it's funny that you say that because my mom likes to change her hair color a lot .  No matter what, as soon as she changes it everyone  says they "liked it better before."  Yet "before" they never complimented her on it!  I think all different hairstyles are nice, it just depends on the person.  I don't know why people are so critical anyway.  Some ladies have nice long hair and some have nice short hair.  People should just respect one another's differences, you know?   

Anne-Marie: Quote:

Oh! I love the way you said that. Amen.

Samantha: Quote:

Men tell me my hair is "sexy and gorgeous" and they "like it better this way" while my lady friends comment on how strange it is... they've known the short-haired Anais for years and still haven't adjusted to the new me. That's what I get for being away from civilization for too long.

Anais

Yeah, you won't find too many Locks of Love fans on these boards, it's been the topic of discussion many times :P

i wonder if all the short haired "style" loving women out there know that men actullay LOVE long hair on a woman? my boyfriend tells me all the time to never cut my hair...and ive heard tonnes of guys say they find long hair very attractive.

very true

They are jealous of your beautiful hair. That's all. It gives them feelings of inferiority.

the best way to not let negative comments affect you is to just ignore them, i know its not easy but after a while you do grow a thicker skin....quicker than you realise. you have to learn to just laugh at the stupidity of the comments and stand your ground. its horrible when its your family but maybe they do keep on cos they see its affecting you, and they think you'll cave in and say "okay, cut it then". DONT GIVE UP!!! your long haired brothers and sisters are here to comfort you and spur you on ((((****HUG****)))) your skin will get thicker and the comments will eventually just roll off....trust me.....ive had to learn to do the same thing...but not about hair, i dress in a non-conventional way so i get insults from family and complete strangers. although my parents dont comment anymore cos i didnt give in and stood my ground.

your hair is beautiful...and its YOURS. remember that...and good luck 

Drummergirl - it is always difficult when the ones you love try to control in ways that are uncomfortable for you.  I'd suggest that when they make such comments just reply that at this time you are still enjoying having hair of your length and don't really see any reason to change that.  Then move the conversation to something else.

Finchquilts - I agree, I am uncomfortable when people touch my hair without permission.  I have been know to say to strangers "Oh, I'm sorry, let me get my hair out of your way", then move my hair out of their reach.

I used to have long hair - I could sit on it - then I gave in to my friends and my mum saying I'd look good with it cut - and I got it cut shorter and shorter.  I'm growing it back now, and it's mid-length, just touching my waist - and now I can say - well yeh, I tried it short for a year or two, but after all the work I put into it to grow it this long, and I'm still growing it, I don't want to cut it again!  Though I am giving in to my mum and getting my fringe cut back in.

Drummergirl - it's been a few months - any improvement in the "unsolicited hair comments" department? 

As I've mentioned before - I've always had long hair.  All through high school I got the same comments - why haven't you tried this 'do' or that 'do'... The Farrah look was in back then - which was rather "long" compared to more recent fashions - but still, the never ending comments  "well meaning", of course   

After highschool, my sister and 2 of my 4 first cousins became (group gasp) hair stylists.  They spent the better part of 2 years doing every imaginable evil to their hair - all in the name of schooling.  My sister had at one time or another: fuscia, lavender, and white hair - the colors themselves were not the "bad" thing - just with constant coloring, her overprocessed hair was thin, straw-like and dreadful. (This from the girl who as a senior in highschool had some of the thickest golden blond hair I'd ever seen - she wore it below shoulder length - and her pony tail took two hands to hold, it was so thick ... after 'beauty' school - once she realized what damage she'd caused - and tried to regain her 'locks', it never again had the same lustre, color, or thickness.  After it all - her hair is probably 1/2 as thick as it was previously.  Such a shame. 

The REAL family comments started after they'd all graduated, and I think they made bets with one another as to who could get me to cut my hair first...  More than 20 years later - guess who won?  ME!

After all these years it has become light and playful jesting, with no real thought of causing me distress or getting me to change my mind - no one still believes I'll ever cut my hair - (Though I think my cousin had palpatations when I asked her to do the 5 inch trim this summer - to finally do away with the last evidence of an old perm).

Long hair is part of my persona.
No one will ever change that - and it's kind of nice - after all of these years - that they've all given up trying.  So.... you may have time to bide until those around you will respect that:
yes, you really DO know what you like - and -
no, they're not going to change your mind with a few petty comments.

Hang in there!
nightowl

Here's one for your horror stories...

When I was in high school, and my hair had reached waist length, I got lots of compliments from friends, and snide looks from the popular girls.  But!  I think my hair did the charm on some guys, I got asked to a lot of social funcions.  (Not dates, social functions.  My parents believed if we "group dated" we'd get into less trouble)    It worked though!

At any rate, one night when I was out with this particular fellow, we were all (20 or so) sitting down to get a quick bite at Steak N Shake before catching a movie.  Well, during the normal course of conversation, my fellow leaned over and proceeded to tell me he adored girls with short hair.  Mmmhmmm.  I asked him why he even asked me out, and then he said "to talk you into cutting your hair.  It would be so lovely."  *GASP!*  How ridiculously rude!!

Needless to say, I didn't go out with him again.

The biggest problem I have nowadays are guys trying to touch my hair.. I've been in several bar situations where I'll go up to the bar to get a drink (my hair down) and some fellow will come up behind me and immeadiatly thinks he can stroke my hair.. "Whatcha drinking, darling?"  Trust me boys, we don't like that!  I need a certain amount of personal space, especially if I've never met you before, and besides.. I DO NOT know what's been on those hands!

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Go girl, go!

Valerie,
In that sort of situation you can't really push the poor kid away.. all you can do is pray they know how to be gentle...

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What a wonderful way to handle a hard situation. 

I'm a bit shocked.

As most of you probably know by now, my hair is a bit past shoulder line, so it's not very long. And I'm 27.

So, I went to have a cup of coffee with my mother. She's always hoped that I'd grow some hair -she has never liked it when my hair was short. I thought she would be happy now. And the big compliment she told me was...

Mom:"You look so nice now that you have some hair. When you get a bit older, you'll cut it, but now it looks nice."

Me: *looking blankly at her*"What makes you think that I ever intend to cut it?"

Mom:*looks shocked*" But of course you should. People cut their hair when they age." *in as a matter-of-fact-tone*

Me:" Well, I probably won't."

Mom:"You'll change your opinion when you get your first gray hairs and must start coloring regularly. What would your hair look like then, if  it was a mix of gray and blonde? "

Me:*in glacier-calm tone*" I guess it will look like a mix of gray and blonde hair. And I'm going to accept it." *changes subject*

I didn't even bother mentioning that one of my closest friends is well in her fifties and has a lovely, long, gracefully graying hair.

Galadriel, are you my long-lost sister?  We MUST have the same mother!  I've had that conversation sooooo many times with my mother.

i dye my hair and have no problems!!! of course ... i do dye it myself 

i know someone who hasn't cut her hair since decades (at least 22 years) - she doesn't even dust for split hairs - and also bleaches it ...  of course it looks pretty dead from close by (especially the ends look brittle) and only the hairs of her neck seem to reach  classic length (it seems to break of in a V-pattern). but even then, it seems to be in a better state than one would expect. it stimulates me to think that non-neglected hair really can reach (one length) classic length, even when it's dyed.

I've sometimes had people suggest in a roundabout way that I should get my hair cut, but then there are also people who tell me they love it and tell me to never cut it, so it all balances out. 

If one has cut her hair, the only ways to change is to wait it to grow again a bit...and with an elaborate haircut, there's no way to change style from day to day.
   If I get bored with a bun, I can always make a braid, or start experimenting. Or wear different hair ornaments. Problem solved!

I started this post a long, long time ago and somehow ended up reading over it again.  The other day this lady was sitting in the office I work in and she kept asking me, "How can you stand all that hair?"  I took a moment and looked at her and realized that this woman had one of the ugliest heads of hair I have ever seen. ( I am not saying that to be mean, so stay with me. )  I think the answer is usually pure and simple jealousy.  People still ask me everyday how much time I spend on my hair and they are shocked when I tell them I wash it once/week and spend less than 5 minutes on it/day.  I think people are never going to get it!!  And yes, these people are all women. I guess that some women are just mean to each other.  it's sad.  Okay, enough rambling!!LOL!!

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So I guess you were too nice to respond in kind. She really needed a comeuppance, you know.

"How can you stand all that hair?"
Excuse me?
"How can you stand all that hair?"
Glance up at her hair.
Um, how can you stand having hair like that?
Stare into her eyes coldly. Watch her squirm. Let her break the stare.

But, as a longhaired person you're NOT looking the same way forever. You have endless styling options. How many ways can one style a pixie?  ???

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Eeeek!  I could never say that to someone!  (Though, I gotta admit it's come to mind, before!)  I just tend to smile when they're snotty and say, something along the lines, "Well, I'm saving on hair cutting insurance, because, nowadays, you're never quite sure what you're going to get!"  *stare at the crispified locks of the other person*  At which point I give them my most brilliant (sarcastic) smile and walk away.

No da!  *giggles*

Yeah, long hair does have an interesting effect on people. I think my best friend wants me to cut me hair, but I think she would be ok if I told her I wasn't going to.

Ok, my story: I grew my hair out in high school until it was waist length. I liked the compliments I recieved, but there were days when the hair just drove me nuts. I kept telling myself that I just had to wait until I graduated then I could cut it. The day after I graduated, I cut it to between my shoulders and my chin!! I was relieved. I thought I looked cute with it short. Many others did too, but I had several people come up to me and almost cry because I chopped all my hair off. Mind you, these people said nothing while it was long. Sigh. Well, I then decided to grow it out again until I graduated university. I've gone back and forth about cutting it once I graduate or waiting until I get married. I think I've come to the decision of never cutting my hair!! (and there was much rejoicing) I'm up to elbow length and am aiming for classic length and then I don't know what the next step will be.

Sorry that was so long.

Those of you who don't like your hair touched, is there a specific reason or do you just feel like your personal space bubble is being invaided? I ask this because I like it when people touch my hair. True, I don't let kids do my hair, but I don't mind if they touch it.

Also, are any of you long haired ladies moms? Did you have problems with your babies grabbing handfulls of hair? Is the only way to fix that to put the hair up?
Meg

To answer the first question - yes!  People tell me to cut my hair.  But then again, those same people told me I should grow it out when it was short.   

As far as moms, I don't have kids but my sister-in-law had 3.  She never cut her hair (she has beautiful super-thick Latina hair.)  She would just keep it in a scrunchied ponytail at the nape of her neck.  Nothing extravagent.  So that way, when the kids messed up her hair, it was easy for her to put back.  Later when the kids were older, she started putting more time into putting up her hair again.

Cynde

To wishing4longhair: I too, like to have my hair touched.  Of course, I've never had anyone I don't know try, so that would probably be a different story.

I'm also a mom, and didn't cut my hair when I had either of my children, although I was certainly told I should!  Some people (my mother) even said things like: "Well, now that you're going to have kids, you'll finally be cutting your hair."  Uh, no, I don't think so.

Some of my favorite memories of when my children were babies involve my hair.  Both of them adored for me to slowly drag my hair back and forth across their faces, my son would chuckle and smile, and it even put my daughter to sleep.  My son (he just turned 2!) still loves to stroke my hair while I read him his bedtime stories, and if I'm leaning over with my hair down, he'll duck underneath, look up and me and laugh: "hiding!"

I have the bad habit of giving into urges to get my hair cut and I always get stick for it.  Luckily the women who matter to me in my life encourage those who can carry it off to wear their hair long and my MIL just turned 70 and has long beautiful hair and she won't give into her children's and other people's urgings to cut her hair off.  Good for her!  It's brown but I don't know if it's natural or dyed.  Doesn't matter, it looks great!  Her hair is healthy and thick, has some curl/wave to it and she can wear a variety of styles many women her age can only dream of. 

Hub doesn't care what I do as long as my hair doesn't get shorter than his

Bad and evil people will allways pick on you.


CLASSIC is just that

it never goes out of style....



Envy is what it is

Answer like this:Cut it?-So you want some don´t you?!

ooh, firefly that is lucky!
I guess I'm lucky too, as one of my good friends has almost tailbone hair, and my bestest best has taken our example and is growing hers out too...  I haven't had anyone tell me to cut it yet, but then, my grandmother doesn't know about how long it is, or my wish to make it longer. If she did, she'd start harping on me to cut it. *shrugs* she's like that.

First of all I should say hello, I stumbled upon this site while looking for Edwardian hairstyles online and I have to say it is like coming home!! I have had long hair most of my life, from late primary school (after a disasterous shoulder length cut, which might I add I was tricked into - that is the last time my hair has been short) onwards - I am now 23 - and people ask me if/when I am going to cut it all the time. Mostly these comments come from extended family, aunts etc. very rarely from my parents or siblings. I did have one best friend at school though who was always on at me. She had gorgeous long, deep red wavy hair, but when we were 14 she chopped it off into a shoulder length flipped cut. I have to admit it suited her much better (although she did have beautiful hair previous) and it was perhaps the constant dyeing afterwards that did the real damage, but after that she was always nagging me to follow suit.

Nowdays, though, it is hairdressers that give me the most bother. Luckily I have found one, who works out a lovely boutique salon at her home, who will trim as little or as much off my hair as I wish, but I also highlight my hair and I go to a different salon for this. I suppose I should note that my hair fluctuates between mid back length to waist length in any given year and when I highlight it it is always the former, my trusted hairdresser having given it a good cut the day before. In that sense it is nowhere near as long as some of you have your hair, but it is quite long for where I live (Northern Ireland, although I go to college in Dublin and I haven't noticed anyone there either) indeed I rarely seen anyone with longer. Very short hair is all the rage here at the moment frequently in sharp, choppy styles with an unnatural mix of colours - definately not my thing and on some people I would hazard to say quite ugly.

Anyway when I go to this salon (my last visit was my last) the stylists are always pushing me to get a short cut, "oh I would like to do it this way, that way etc etc" (eh, excuse me whose hair is it?!), even when I have only booked in for a colour. On one occassion, where I had just had a good six inches off the day previous, one stylist was blow drying my hair and perked up (might I add to another stylist as if I wasn't there) "oh we are going to have to give this a cut to get all these dead ends off". What dead ends? Is the assumption then that all long hair must be in an awful state? That was nothing, though, compared to my last visit. Again I went in for a colour having had my hair cut the day before and as usual the stylist started up about I'd like to do this, that and the other with it etc. etc. (all involving very short cuts) when I politely said no she took a complete huff, told me that having hair "that long" was ridiculous and when (in response to her question as to why I have long hair) I said that I prefer long hair and it is nice too to be a bit different when so many people have short hair these days, she responded "gee thanks!!" Other than that throughout the course of her colouring my hair she was rude and on occassions downright nasty, so much so that I couldn't wait to get out of there and was glad when she left earlier and one of the junior stylists dryed my hair.

Having said all that (apologies for the long post) I wonder has anyone else had this type of experience with salons? Everytime I go I get a 'grilling' about why I have long hair and why I won't let them cut it short. In my younger years anytime I let such salons cut it when I said 2 inches I would come out with hair 6-7 inches shorter - did they think I didn't know what an inch was?


Emma.

Nice to meet you too. I am so glad I found this site, I have been having a read round the forum since yesterday and I have already picked up so many great tips on taking care of long hair. I must admit I do commit a bit of a sin in colouring my hair, but I am currently letting my natural hair colour grow out again. I did the same last year and my natural hair was grown out as far as my shoulders. I am not a big fan of highlights to tell you the truth because each time you get them done you are colouring the same hair and with long hair you have that hair for so long it weakens it. Anyway on the aforementioned trip to the salon I wanted to try something different and discuss colour that would be kinder on my hair and that I would not have to colour over and over again. I wanted to go blonder and I am natural blonde already so I didn't think it was that much to ask, but clearly it was because they just went ahead and did the same highlights over again, despite my saying that wasn't what I wanted. Ahhh sigh ... if only I could find a long hair salon ...

Actually that, and this thread, reminds me when I was in first form at secondary school there was this girl that must have been about lower or upper sixth at the time (for those of you from the US I should probably explain, secondary school here is from 11 to 18. In the first form I would have been 11/12 depending on the time of year. Lower sitxth and upper sixth I think would be the equivalent of juniors and seniors at high school) and she had the most beautiful, shiny, waist length blonde hair. It was in excellent condition and I was in absolute awe of her, but towards the end of upper sixth she chopped it all off until it was just above her shoulders and I have always thought since that she lost a bit of her sparkle when she did. It turns out too that she was a natural brunette a she then let the colour grow out, which just proves to me now that I think of it that I certainly should be able to get a brighter colour and keep my hair in good condition.


Emma.

On wednesday this week, I was at the library and I happened to pick up the newspaper.  The front page article featured an 11 year girl cutting off 19 inches of hair for locks of love.  As I was reading the article, an older man comes up behind me and says "you are a candidate for that too!"  I politely said "NO".  He said, "why not"!  I said "NO".  He said "not even to help out someone else?"  I said "NO".  Boy, was he ever trying to put me on a guilt trip.  Some people dont get it even if you take the time to explain it to them.
I trim, I oil, I s & d, enuf said. 

Debr

Hi Angelspun,  sometimes I get into situations and dont know what to say at the time, then later I come up with the " I shoulda saids".  Most people are unaware of what they maybe suggesting.  He really had no idea abot lol.  He thought it was a good idea to cut off my hair.  Poor man!  He was clueless.  So I let it be.  Have a great day.


Debr

Actually, yes. My friends sometimes suggest things like "you would look so good in this [shorter/layered/over-styled] hairstyle!" And I just feel like "thanks, but I'm very happy with my hair as it is now, I actually want it even longer."  
Same thing that I'm pale; I like it, but when everyone else seems to think it looks really shabby and unfit it begins to grow on you. I won't change for them, but it's still no fun.   Oh well, at the Medieval Week at Gotland I get my redress. There are the cooooool people have white faces and longish hair!    

oh, I know. I slather on sunscreen to keep my skin as pale as possible ( being part italian, it's still not as pale as i'd wish ) And I just hate the phrase "she has such a nice, healthy tan"... HEALTHY????? skin cancer; leathery, awful texture; age spotting; lines and wrinkles before I'm thirty? hoo boy.. no thanks. My skin has enough problems and scars without being baked. ( remember, kids. people are not potatoes!)

Being part Irish and part Italian,I thank God was blessed with pale skin!  I love the Italian part, don't get me wrong,but having pale skin forces me to avoid the sun!  Who likes being "red as a lobster" and dealing with sunburn????  Age spots and sun spots?????  I think they look great on lepards,girafes and on animals that were intended to have spots!!! lol

this may be a stretch from the original thread, but recently i've embraced my shortness. not of hair, but of stature. i've been buying more comfy shoes, and cute ones not worrying that i'm very short without added heels. fyi, for me cute shoes means kind of cloggish-hand made with cool designs and antique look-not stilletos or super high heels. i even bought sassy boots to wear with skirts-and much to my friends' dismay-they are cowboy boots.
so all that to say, my skin has a slight olive undertone-but i'm still very very light. i did try to tan in college, but i'm far past that now and wear sunscreen all the time. i'm also no longer trying to change my hair color-it's brown. so i like my look. that's what i'm saying.

I've recently embraced my shortness too.. 5'1 and proud! I wear heels once in a blue moon, but i'm almost always in comfy slip on shoes, or my work boots, Even in skirts...  (imagine, if you will, a girl in a green teeshirt, purple ankle length skirt and steel toed work boots with brown laces) As for hair shortness... it still doesn't feel long enough.

I'll join the ranks of embrasing my shortness (5'2") and long hair, but I'm afraid I' an outdoors gal.  I do try to protect my skin and I never allow myself to get a sunburn, but I do tan easily.  I don't work on getting a tan, but it happens when you spend as much time as I do in the sun.  (and as for the shortness - I gave up heels in the early 80's when I started to have back problems.  Birks are my primary shoe now.)

As far as I know my wife has never been told to cut her hair.  If someone did and I happened to be there I would tell them she would cut her hair off if they would cut their arm off  That would probably shut them up right away.

When I had shoulder length hair one of my coworkers told me I should get my hair cut and donate it to locks of love  My response was, "NO WAY!".
I did eventually get it cut off but the only donation was in the trash

Jerry

OMG!  This happens to you guys too?!  Im probly way late on this thread but OMG, I never understood it!  Almost ALWAYS at work I have my hair up, so the rare times I have it down everyone around me oos and aas about how long my hair is and then they say this 75% of the time! "You should cut it" WTF!??!?  WHY should I cut it!?  bastards!  I think they are all just jelous   Also I get this one a lot too "don't you want to style it?" My answer, "This IS a style"

Your poor MIL!

I never get told to cut my hair! Quite the opposite, I just don't have my family's faith that I can grow it to mid-back length. Probably because I have never in my entire life had hair that was past my shoulders.

Heheheh no not anymore love

I find longer hair is easier to care for and style too.  I get so fed up with hearing that shorter hair means lower maintenance, lower costs, etc.  The hell shorter hair does [not]!