Kiraela: Fruit bats, yup. That's how I've referred to myself for years. *hugs* And I'm not sure why I still bother to tell the 'rents anything. They've never believed a single word I've said. 

Lisabelle: You could be right. And egad @ the Halloween disaster. Some people have anger management issues even after they die.

Hair: Clarifying day! Two have passed since I broke things off with K. I think it's safe to say that I've "washed that man right outta my hair."    Yeah, I'm old.
    Hair is doing pretty well though. It's either at BSL or dangerously close. And yesterday, I did find time for a S&D.

Other Stuff: It's raining today!   
    My car didn't get waxed before the storm hit, but it doesn't matter anymore. I'll just wax the bejeezes out of it after the next wash. I did get one quadrant of the interior clean, however. Needed it badly! There was coffee all over the place. Guess that's what happens when 2 goths date...and neglect to clean their cars. 
    I also put my floormats through the wash, and I'm pretty sure that they're cleaner now than when they were brand new. Still have the other ¾ of the interior to clean...and the trunk...and the seats to disinfect. But it's coming along nicely.

Also, I'm apparently getting a new desk for my chamber. Dad said he ordered one that matches the rest of my furniture. Hope it has room for all of my stuff...

Trisha: For me, it just means not sampling alcoholic beverages anymore. Giving up on the random sips here and there to taste something. Now that I'm no longer dating a bartender, that should be easy enough. In all other ways, I am straight edge and always have been.

Hair: The usual CWC routine, which now entails:

• Suave Tropical Coconut conditioner
• Pantene Restoratives Time Renewal shampoo
• Pantene Restoratives Time Renewal conditioner

When I got my break at 3:00, I combed out my hair and first tried to part it down the middle and pin it up on the sides. But the barrettes that I brought were crap and one wasn't holding very well. So I took them out, tossed the one and combed my hair out again. I wanted my natural side part to just do its thing, but for some reason, it wasn't cooperating either. I tried to create one, but it didn't look right. So hair is down and partless. Blah. Whatever. 

Other: Got a few texts from K last night with the usual "I miss you" bullcrap. Now, I don't mean to sound heartless, but maybe he should have thought about that before giving me so many reasons not to see him anymore. I told him that I missed him as well, but stood by my decision that things are better this way.
    Oh, I've thought about going back to him more than I'd like to admit, but I know that would be a mistake. Nothing would change. He can't take back what's already been done, he isn't likely to change his ways and he most certainly cannot change mine. Bottom line is he's not what I want and I'm not what he wants. Case closed.
    Don't think that giving him up is easy though. 

In other news, I managed to put myself together today. Rockin' cool gray eyeshadow and my favorite mascara ever: Maybelline Great Lash in Blackest Black.    Plus plum lip stain (which I think I can actually do without) with matching liquid lipgloss over. And my nails are now a shiny patent leather black (matching my toes).    Surprisingly, though, the look isn't terribly gothic. Need to fix that...
    Still not happy with the foundation sitch, I hate to say.    This morning, I experimented with applying it only to the ruddy areas of my skin (which kind of worked) with a makeup brush (which totally didn't). Were I not Celtic and my skin tone was perfectly even, I wouldn't even bother with foundation. Hate it!    I'd just dot on concealer, sweep on deathly pale powder and be done with it. But alas...not that I'm complaining about being Celtic. 

Been contemplating hair color again.    Every time I'm near the haircare aisles in a store, I always check out the semi- and demi-permanent auburns that appeal to me and just think.    Auburn is a heck of a lot more gothic than my natural light brown...
    I'd love to go all out burgundy, but that would require a heck of a lot of maintenance! Plus, it's a strong color and I probably don't have the personality to pull it off. Also, it would look obviously artificial, and that's one thing that distinguishes the true goths from the trashy poseurs. The idea is to look like a beautiful, natural goth - not like an attention [glut] going out for Halloween. 
    In any case, regular coloring is not something that I can commit to right now anyway, so it probably won't happen. Maybe I'll worry about it in 20 years or so when I start going gray.

Well, about 15 minutes left at work. Time to start closing down.

Curlgirl: You're on, girlfriend.    If I decide to go the mineral route, you'll be the first person whom I consult.

Trish: Uh huh. 

Hair: The usual CWC routine today. I'll comb & braid during my break - need to have my hair secured if I'm going to work on my car later.
    Last night, I confirmed that my hair is now indeed BSL. I'm still going to leave the ticker up, though, because I'm not sure whether my hair has reached its final measurement for the beginning of February. It could grow a bit more in 8 days...    Stranger things have happened.

Other: Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary, had I stayed married. Not a healthy way to think, I guess. I wish that I just didn't even notice when a would-be anniversary comes around each year. But I always do. 
    It's not that I miss it or long for my former husband or grow wistful at the memory of our relationship. Sentimental hogwash! I'm not that kind of person, and I was over it long before it was officially "over."
    But every year, it still registers: "hey, this would have been my anniversary." No sentiment attached, no remorse. Just the cold, hard, bloody fact. To use a truly geeky expression, it is what it is. 

In other news, rain is the awesomest thing in the world (yes, I'm aware that "awesomest" isn't really a word). I rank its beauty right up there with the rose, the human eye, the ocean, the full moon and the sky on a really clear winter's night.
    It's strange weather we're having, with vast, simultaneous patches of rain and sun. But the combination of them both hitting my windshield at the same time had a brilliant effect as I drove to work this morning. The sunlight illuminated the drops as they landed on the glass, sprinkling my entire windshield with little stars. So beautiful were they that I almost didn't have the heart to wipe them away - curse the necessity of being able to see while driving! lol

Alright, it's almost time for my morning break. Yes, morning. I hate this shift. 

hehe Thanx, Curlgirl.    Although, I'm going to go right on letting it think that it's not quite there yet.

A short entry today, because I really don't feel like writing.  

Hair had the usual WTC routine for Fridays. All Time Renewal products. The usual leave-in crème, air dry, braid. Still 1 week before I'm "officially" BSL. But yeah, I'm there. Probably have been for awhile.

Realized this morning that I'd been soaking my new piercings incorrectly.    The glass that I'd been using was 12 oz. instead of 8. D'oh! So I will begin using our little 8 oz. juice glasses today.

Yesterday, I was able to clean and disinfect another quadrant of my car's interior. Now the front half is done.    This weekend, I'll address the backseat and maybe wash & wax the outside.

K sent me a few messages this morning, as well as a song that ripped my freaking heart out: The Promise by When In Rome. I've been a mess all day.
   So this is where the real pain starts. It took this long for the wound to finally bleed. The good news is that this is the worst part. It might last awhile, but after it passes, things will get better.

As much as all of it sucks, K cannot change the past and isn't going to change the present. I'm not going to say that it's impossible - nothing is impossible. But it's very unlikely, and my best move is onward.

'Til next time.

Did I throw away the best part of my life
When I cut you off, did I cut myself with the same damn knife
Hide my tears in the pouring rain
Had my share of hurt and pain
Don't say my name
Run away
'Cause it's all in vain
            -Bon Jovi, Hearts Breaking Even